Don't Let me Fade
by Missy Spankalicious
Summary: The family havn't decided to leave yet, while Jaspers reading, something happens that decides for them...when they find out what's happened to Bella, will they be able to keep her grounded or will she just fade away...? contains suspense, sexual violence
1. Chapter 1

**_Hello, first off thank you to all who are reading this and giving it a chance, hope you like it. Second, if anybody is intrested in Beta'in this story for me, send me a message._**

**_And all this belongs to SM i just like to play with her dolls._**

"No! Were leaving, end of discussion!" Edward yelled tugging at his copper hair in frustration; I found that deeply amusing, poor Eddie boy wasn't getting his own way.

He had called a family meeting, insisting we all had to come and listen to the important decision he and _his_ Bella had made, it was a lie, we all knew it. He made all the decisions; Bella had hardly any control over her own life, never mind their relationship and things that had to do with this family. It was ridiculous.

"Edward, have you even thought about what you're asking of us? What you're asking of Bella?" Esme asked struggling to hold onto her kind warm tone and keeping the harsh angry one at bay. It was like she was approaching a bomb, even though we knew Edward wouldn't snap at someone as kind hearted as Esme, but she still took care and took every step of this conversation with hesitancy.

"Oh, no Esme. Haven't you heard, its all about Edward" I answered for him, he just glared daggers at me and let a hiss escape under his breath, witch made a smirk pull at my mouth. Emmett found it all rather amusing and tried to stifle his laughter with a cough as all eyes turned to him, I chuckled at his stupid attempt to be convicted as he whistled and looked anywhere but at us.

Edward Cullen, or rather Mason in his human life, was born in the nineteen hundreds and has the mind of that era, he still see's the world for what it was back then. What makes that even worse is that he is still so immature, imprisoned in the mind and body of a seventeen year old boy. He will forever be a boy and never grow into the man Esme and Carlisle crave him to be.

I think that's why he gets his own way and is spoilt so much, I think Carlisle feels guilty for turning him so young and not letting him grow, but he felt so compelled to save him after his mother pleaded for him to save her son. I wonder if she would feel that way now, seeing how he can never grow to understand the ways of the world in this day and age.

Esme, kind hearted Esme. She longed for a child and needed to feel the pain ease somehow, so she turned to us and coddled every single child in this house, all except me, until a new one came along. I would never allow Esme to treat me like a child, I was older than her, I had been taking care of myself my whole existence, I don't know why she felt so compelled to _try_ and replace my mother, not that she could.

I also felt the need to do it out of respect for her son; I felt it sickening that she kept trying to replace him with us. I don't know why she did it, maybe it wasn't because she wanted to but felt obligated to, maybe for Carlisle. But I know some where hidden under her emotions she felt the same longing and grief from the very day he died. Maybe that's why.

It was sad to watch some days, id catch her looking at me, longing to take care of me but also wanting to be wanted. I think that's what made her feel so…contented, knowing she was needed and wanted, but she would always have that with her mate. I hope one day she realises that and can finally let go of us and stand up on her own, maybe actually start living with her mate instead of carrying on with this false charade.

"I agree with Edward, even though I don't think he's doing it the right way" Rose said throwing a glare at Edward "but think about it…she could have a proper career, instead of some lame ass attempt at one like Carlisle and fall in love, get married and maybe one day have kids. How great would that be for her, don't you want what's best for her, she could be so happy" she said with a soft smile and a dream like look in her eye.

We all knew Rose wanted that life, cut the vamps out of course but she still wished, hoped and desired the normal, peaceful life any human women had. Emmett came up to her and wrapped his big arms around her slender frame. Carlisle winced at the criticism of how he worked and lived his life; he enjoyed it and to hear one of his children slandering it, made him feel less of a man.

Rosalie was 5,9 with a perfect slender figure, she had platinum blonde hair with tints of honey colour and a small but perfectly placed mole under her right eye. It was her one imperfection that she and Em loved, not really an imperfection at all, just another thing that made her beautiful.

She was the essence of ice, cold and harsh; she kept Em in line, but laughed and loved him privately. She shared few intimate moments with him in front of a room or audience, if you will. She tried hard to not let emotions show to any one other than Emmett and acted snobby and bitchy to all, as if to keep anyone, again, other that Emmett at arms length.

Emmet was 6,2 with a burly frame but he relied on it too much and often forgot that calculating and strategy was the key to winning. His brown hair and big dimples often got him out of trouble and made all the girls swoon for him, it was funny to see Rose get so jealous about it. He was funny and bright often lightening any tense atmosphere and made the worst situation into a joke, sometimes the worst move to make but it did its job. He loved his family and would kill anyone for trying to hurt them; he was loyal to us and made it his goal to be liked by all. He achieved it by a long shot, though I doubt he knows this.

Rosalie is the same with the family, just in a more stand offish way, she keeps her distance and her business to herself. She didn't believe in drama and attention seeking when I asked about it, she said she just wants to be left alone to live her life happily with her mate and that was all.

Also when I asked if she truly wants that, then why stay with a drama filled family like this one, she simply said because it makes Em happy. And that was that, we never spoke about our talk or that day in the woods, we just smiled at each other when we passed in our day to day life. Though she would never admit it and I would never tell her, what she was doing was selfless and touching, it was odd to think this of Rose.

"Babe, you can't actually think it's a good idea to leave Bell's, she's my baby sister. I don't want to leave her so please done ask me to." Emmett said letting his arms fall to his sides and moving away from Rose, she turned slowly and faced him, looking into his eyes sadly, Ems pleading.

His emotions showed determination, hesitancy and longing. He didn't want to leave Bella but didn't want to loose Rose and she was going to make him choose, he knew it, she knew it, we all knew it.

Rose cleared her face to indignation and huffed, cocking her hip and resting her hand on it she raised an eyebrow at him, her demeanour completely changing from what it was a second ago.

"Why Em?" she said coldly and her eyes widened expectantly. He made a kind of sobbing noise in the back of his throat and looked at her with venom filled eyes, she was taken aback but didn't let it show.

"Because she won't win" he said, lowering his eyes to the ground and walking out the backdoor and into the setting night, his reproaching figure seemed to fade away into the colours of yellows, blues, pinks and light oranges, strange combination for Forks.

Rosalie sighed, racking a hand through her bouncy locks that fell into the exact same place they had been and slumped into the chair next to me, leaning into my side. It was a once in a blue moon moment were Rosalie Hale showed her vulnerability to the world and the even stranger thing was, she was taking comfort in me. Never happens.

I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer, in a brotherly way, sending her some tranquil vibes to ease her stress and worries. This had to have been the biggest and longest family meeting ever and trust me; there have been a lot of family meetings.

"How come your so quiet on the subject?" I asked Alice, jutting my chin in her direction a little. She seemed startled out of her thoughts; she took in a deep breath and let it out shakily. She looked warn and tired, yet conflicting emotions were boiling in her.

"I can't have an opinion at this time; I still have a lot to think about. On one hand Edward is my brother and what makes him happy makes us all happy, I can also see Rosalie's point and Edwards regard to it. It makes sense, but I can't help but wonder Rose that you're trying to push something you want desperately onto someone who doesn't want it, you hate her, or act like you do, because you want her humanity, yet part of humanity is making decisions and mistakes. You've taken that away from her by pushing her into a life she doesn't want to lead; you're just as bad as Edward in that regard.

And I can't decide it's wrong because I love Bella like a sister and want what's best for her and hope she's happy, of course I want Bella to live happily married with children and grandchildren surrounding her until she dies. I would also like to spend eternity gossiping and sharing boy trouble with her and having sisterly bond with her forever, but I also take into consideration of what she wants and feels, I want those things for her if she wants those things. It's not fair to pass judgment on to someone because of a decision or what you want for them and can't have. I want her in this family but I have to take everyone's opinion into account but if we do leave, I will not just up and go, I will go and say goodbye properly, I'm her best friend after all." She said strongly before walking away and up to her room, looking rather proud to have gotten how she feels on the subject out. It was a dignified moment for Alice as we all just stared in shock at her as she left the room at a human pace and climbed the stares.

"Did she eat a dictionary or a book lately?" I asked my jaw still on the floor and my eyes staring at the spot Alice had moved from a second ago.

"No, maybe a really smart deer…" Rose hummed her suggestion into my ear as she looked at the same place my eyes were, she looked to be in deep thought.

"I'm off to pack" Edward said leaving the room and trailing his feet behind him, I shook my head at him, he was being pathetic. We weren't leaving, I don't think any way.

"No, we will all decide in the morning, for now just sit tight until Emmett gets back. Come Esme, we will hunt and have a talk" Carlisle said talking for the first time. They slowly stood and made there way out, there fast footsteps pounding into the distance.

"She's right though" I said glancing at Rose from the corner of my eye, she didn't look surprised but I felt conviction in her emotions.

"You're just saying that because Alice hasn't been giving you any lately" she said narrowing her eyes at me a little.

"No, you are trying to force a human life on Bella when all she wants is to spend eternity with shitwad up there. It's kind of like you and Emmett and you know it. You're a hypocrite and it's selfish and arrogant of you to try and push Bella out of this family. You didn't think twice for Ems opinion on the matter when you were getting Carlisle to change him.

It's not like he even wants to be with her any more, and there defiantly not mates, or he wouldn't want to leave her and refuse to change her. But we've all let Bella into this family and dragged her into this supernatural lifestyle, there's no going back. We either have to change her, which we wont do because he wont let us and Carlisle wont step up, or kill her which is defiantly out of the question. So we leave and wait for the vulturi to find out, Bella gets killed eventually anyway then we get hunted down and killed. Pick, because there our options.

And that's without even taking in Victoria and putting her into the sum of this fucked up situation. If we leave, we still run the risk of the vulturi, but Victoria also. She could bring the family crumbling down with a few words around about the family and revealing ourselves to a human, she is still out for revenge and not just on Bella and Eddie." I said, patting her shoulder and rising to my feet, everyone now knew the seriousness of out situation and had a lot to think about.

I could hear Edward sighing and pacing his room, in some way I felt bad for him but he had brought this all on himself. If he had just kept away from Bella like we had all told him to, except Alice, we wouldn't be in this situation.

I decided to head up to my study and pack some books, even if they stayed I was going to take a break away from the family and head up and stay with Pete and Char for a while. I needed some alone time to get away from all this drama and stress, it was and enough feeling my own stress but add everyone else's I was ready to have a break down and a long needed nap.

As I was just finishing the last page of one of my old journals, a beam of light shone through the clear cut glass of the windowed side wall, it penetrated every corner of the room, filling it with pure light.

At first it was like a hologram, flickering and sparking into a clear image, but slowly Bella's face and body materialised into view. I gasped and Edward, Rose and Alice gathered around me and the red plush chair I was sat in.

Her face was pale and almost see through, but she was still there. Her body and clothes were smeared with blood and she had a small but noticeable dint in her forehead with crusted blood surrounding it and dripping down her face and cheek.

She wore a white tank top and some black leggings, she had Eskimo styled slipper boots on her feet, black with white fur surrounding the sides. Her once pure white tank top was stained crimson and a deep gash in her torso was under the torn part of the fabric, peeking out at us.

Her leggings were ripped at the knees, little bloodied grazes poking out and bruises surrounding them. Her boots were splattered in blood and stained with blood and mucky water.

Her hair was a messy and piled on top of her head in a loose bun. The weird thing was there was no blood lust, no smell of blood at all, in fact their was no scent of Bella at all, and the one that was in the air was at least a week old. The beam of light seemed to make her invisible when it hit her making it all the more confusing.

Edward moved slowly towards her, his face in shock and horror. He gently reached out and tried, key word tried, to touch her face but it just shimmered into the light like a fog or smoke dusting out of the way for his hand. Her face was tear stained and looking blankly, not focused but not really here just staring.

"What-how-what?" Edward said confusedly and tried to grab her, but got the same result as the glimmering and shimmering started again. This time though, she looked up into his eyes and an agonised sob tore out of her throat.

I couldn't feel her emotions and I was pretty sure Edward couldn't hear her, were we all just imagining it? I knew that was impossible but I just couldn't think of a solution to this mad happening in front of us.

"Bella?" Edward asked trying to take her hand, not getting the point he couldn't touch her, and making her shimmer out of place again, making her go out of visible sight and that's when I snapped.

"Stop it!" I growled in frustration waiting for her to reappear, when she did, she was lying in a fatal position on the floor of my study and crying. We stood there in stunned silence as we all thought one thought.

"What the fucks happened?"

**_Thank you again, let me know what you think, i will try and keep up a weekly update. _**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Sorry it's so late, if your still with me, thank you._**

Bella laid curled up on herself on the living room floor, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as if holding herself together. She had stopped crying at some point in the last hour and a half, the deafening silence could have been shattered by a pin dropping. It hurt my ears, the only noise I could hear was the buzz of the life outside the house but it was also comforting to have the time and silence to gather my thoughts and try to figure out what was going on, though nothing was coming to mind.

Alice was pushed up against the furthest wall from Bella, with Edward and Rosalie, cowering away from the unknown threat. Rose's shrivelled up eye ducts made a little moisture peek out at watching Bella in this…state. It was a first for the ice princess.

"I'm going to call Carlisle, you should call Emmett, Rose." Edward said shuffling around Bella and walking swiftly out of the room. It was laughable, Edward had been the first to try to touch Bella and now he was cowering away like some girl scared of a spider, dick.

Rose quickly followed in the same fashion, pulling her phone out and dialling on her way, Alice moved slowly forward and reached a hand out towards Bella as if to touch her shimmering figure. Moving on its own accord my body moved forward and grabbed Alice's hand a mere inch from Bella's form and a quiet warning growl made an appearance.

"Don't" I growled menacingly, she blinked rapidly and struggled to get her hand loose from my grip. I shoved her hand at her and quickly went opn explaining myself.

"We don't know what's wrong with her yet and I don't want you touching, or trying to, until we do." I said agitatedly, Bella looked up at me with sad eyes and stared at me intensely before she shimmered into thin air, we could hear the air slightly change, it was like it was a little warmed and cooler at the same time.

"Jasper?" Alice asked as a little panic slipped into her voice and fear registered in her emotions, I tried sending her calming waves but her body and mind rejected it as she shot me a glare for trying to influence her.

"Sorry." I said with a smile, she let a small hesitant smile grace her little pink lips and looked away with a tired and confused sigh.

"We need to talk about what were going to tell Carlisle, Esme and Em, its all confusing for us and we were here when it was happening, so we need to try and explain it to them as simply as possible…" I said trailing of trying to think of what we could tell them, it was pretty unbelievable and I still don't know what's going on with Bella.

"We could just tell them that Bella appeared and no one can touch her." Edward said coming back into the room depositing his cell phone into his pocket securely, he took a seat in one of the lone cream arm chairs. His head fell back and his emotions poured out of him, regret, sorrow and despair.

"Edward, get a grip. Just yesterday you wanted to leave her and now you're moping because, for some unknown reason, you can't touch her. You're pathetic." I ground out through clenched teeth, he glared at me but soon sighed and walked away and up to his room to mope in private.

"Jasper, stop being so hard on him, Bella is his mate. He is probably in a great depression from not being able to interact with her like a normal mate should be able to, have some consideration towards his feelings." She snapped, standing and starting to pace.

"Alice, please she is far from his mate, he wanted to leave her, he wouldn't have even been able to give the idea any thought if she was. It would be to painful for him to even think of leaving her and I don't see him in any pain other than from Carlisle trying to pull his fat ego head out of his ass." Rose growled out as she entered the room again, turning to me she said.

"Em will be here in a moment, he was just burying his meal" she slowly sunk into the chair Ed head had just left and closed her eyes.

"When did things get this complicated?" she asked as her voice had tints of frustration and maybe a little exhaustion, I knew how she felt, it was like things just kept piling up on top of us and at any moment, the problems were going to collapse and we would be buried by an avalanche.

"Oh, now I remember. It was when that stupid human girl got involved, why she couldn't be smart and stay away from Eddie or better yet, why couldn't Edward at least try to listen to us from his anus tubes and head our warnings. Now were all in danger because of you!" she shouted looking up at the ceiling with a hard stare, hatred and fury boiling under the surface of her calm demeanour.

As Alice slumped into my side the seriousness of this situation dawned on me, I had already list of the things that weighed on our shoulders to Rose earlier and I really didn't want to think over that list right now but it came through my mind rapidly, adding Bella to that list.

A little while later Carlisle, Esme and Em stepped into the room with serious looks across their faces, it was like they were walking to their deaths. They all took seats and Alice stood with a grim line marring her small curved lips, she swiftly walked to the front of the room, whispering for Rose and Ed head to come down so we could give them the instalment of what had us all so disturbed.

When they appeared, Rosalie quickly took a seat on Ems lap, kissing his cheek and apologising quietly as if no one else could hear her or the slight twinge in her voice that gave her a sense of weakness. He slowly kissed her head but said nothing and rested his big dimpled chin on top of her bouncy locks.

Edward slowly slinked into the room, a mope look marring his face but he wore it like it was a medal and he should be proud of it. He threw himself into a chair with an arrogant huff and gestured for us to get on with it; I growled at his childish behaviour and told him what I thought about his little scene.

_Do you honestly think this is just effecting you, you childish imbecile. Once we've told them what's happened, not that we actually know yet but it's going to hurt them just as much if not more than you. So, we can do this the easy way or the hard way but either way your going to be supportive and cut this 'poor me' shit because frankly I'm sick of your existence at the moment, pull yourself together, if not for yourself than for the family and that includes Bella._

He winced at my angry speech but slowly straightened his back and leaned his head on his hands that were resting against his knees, I nodded my approval in the change of his demeanour but he didn't show any signs that he had seen it though I know he did by the change in his emotions.

Though Edward would never admit it and continuously acted as though I disgusted him, he often took moment to admire me and look up to me in an, almost, adult role model. It hurt him to even register the emotions and thoughts he had of me, in that way because of my past mostly but also because he held Carlisle in the same regard and that made him think lowly of Carlisle even though he thought quite highly of me, he wanted to think more highly of Carlisle for every achievement he had made for himself and for this _'family'_.

"Someone want to explain what's going on?" Carlisle asked looking around the room with a frown on his face and his brow furrowed in confusion, Esme laid a loving hand on his bicep in a comforting manner. Me and Rose shared a glance, wondering where to start and how to go about it.

"Ok, don't panic and try to keep up because it's rather hard to explain. Ask questions at the end." Rose said standing and pacing the floor in front of Em, who tried to snatch her back into his embrace every time she passed him and got close but she swatted his hands away each time.

"Right, after you left me and Jasper had a talk and he kind of put things in perspective for all of us in the house at the time, he was right, of course. We can't leave, not that it matters now but we wouldn't be able to leave Bella.

We haven't thought about what the Vulturi might do if they find out we exposed ourselves to a human and then just up and left her to wander the world spouting what she knows. We could have been killed and then we cant leave her because of old Vicky fire ball as well, she's out for revenge and like Jasper said, not just of Bella but on all of us, sure Bella would probably get the brunt of it but did any of you think of the kind of havoc she could reek on this family?

No, none of you did, maybe apart from Alice and Jazz; all this family cares about is keeping the child in the family happy…" she said strongly turning to stare pointedly at Edward. He recoiled from her stare and put his head down in shame.

"But that's not the point in this story, I just wanted to give us all a wake up call because its time for one in this family and I want to get it all out of my system and this is the perfect excuse for it but we'll get to that later.

After we had our talk, Jasper went to his study and started packing a few books and belongings of his into boxes though I cant explain why on his behalf because I really don't know why since he was the one so damn sure we wouldn't be leaving. He will have to take it from there" she said letting out a loud breath with a whoosh and finally letting Em grab her and drag her down onto his lap, kissing her soundly on the mouth.

I stood and turned to face everyone, Alice was still pacing at vampire speed, tapping her head nervously and wearing a mark in the floor, Esme was sat at Carlisle side, hugging him but her head was turned and glaring at Alice menacingly, I'm guessing; she was wearing a mark in her favourite type of wood that panelled the flooring in most rooms of this house.

Rose and Em were slowly caressing each others faces, staring lovingly and adoringly into each others eyes and whispering soft comforting words but Rose mostly just mumbling her apology for ignoring his feelings on what Bella meant to him. Edward still sat in the chair, head in his hands staring at the floor in shame and regret, his emotions were driving me crazy but I know he was trying push them down by the way every time I brought it up in my head his frame went frigid.

Carlisle was looking at me in concern and worry, he was trying to concentrate and focus but his worry for his family was taking over his emotions and making his mind go into a protective mode. His grip would tighten on Esme and then loosen but then they would tighten again, it was like he was flexing his hand every couple of seconds almost like a twitch.

"Urmm, yeah, I was, well, going to take some time away and go visit Peter and Charlotte. I am still but I'm going to wait until everything's settled here before I go. I just need to get away from the drama for awhile" There were a couple of gasps in the room and Alice's pacing stopped and she sharply turned to me.

"I haven't seen us going to visit Peter and Charlotte." She sneered their names as if it were a dirty word on her tongue, it was a fact that Alice hated my brother and sister, simply because of there choice in diet. It was unreasonable and judgmental but it's her opinion, I was allowed to not agree with it.

It was no secret me and Alice had been having trouble for a while now and I thought if I got away for abit and had time to think, when I came back it might be easier and we would be happier because we had both had time to think about our relationships and what we both wanted.

The context of our relationship was complicated and all rather simple, when we were good, we were really good but when we were bad, it was like hell. We lived in a continuous battle of trying to act normal and than behind doors it was like we were miles apart and when we finally met somewhere in the middle, we couldn't get along because all these emotions and things that we both did that hurt each other came up and we were suddenly having a shouting match. The make up sex wasn't even good, not that we'd been having any; I couldn't remember the last time we 'did the deed' as Alice called it.

How can I be having sex with someone who wouldn't even say the word because they found it too perverse and un-lady like? Sometime I don't want a lady, I want a woman.

"That's because I was going alone, am going alone when the time comes" I said toeing at a beige tassel from the brown rug and waiting for the reaction I knew was coming, it didn't take long.

"What! Your going with out me!" she shouted, stomping her foot in anger.

"Alice, we both know this isn't working at the moment, I thought if I gave us some time apart-"

"But we don't need time apart; I don't want time apart from you. I love you, why do you need time apart from me?" she said, appearing in front of me, grabbing onto my shirt in tight clutches, with a little breeze of air coming to us in a rush with her.

"How much time do you have…?" I mumbled momentarily forgetting my filter and looking up quickly to catch her pained face and the venom gather in her eyes, I winced at the face and the emotions coming at me at all side.

"Alice, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. I just think we need some time; I need some time to work out what I want to do. I just feel like its time for me to go and have a change. This isn't for me anymore, it's not my life anymore and I don't think it ever was to be honest. I feel like I stayed so long, for you." Her clutches slowly released their grip on my shirt and fell to her sides, her eyes drifted away from mine and for once I didn't feel the need to have them on mine anymore, she gave some jerky nods and let out a breath before slowly walking back to her corner to pace again.

The family sat, staring at me in shock and Alice in sympathy, I felt like a weight had been lifted of my chest but at the same time one being placed on again but slightly lighter. I felt their eager but shocked eyes penetrating me and trying to feel out whether or not to speak, I didn't give them the chance.

Clearing my throat, I started speaking again and kept on track this time until the end.

"I went to pack a few belongings and everything was fine but at the crack of dawn, as light started to filter into the room, Bella appeared. I mean, not physically, I don't think. It was like a projection, almost, like a hologram, you know like with Princess Lea off of Star Wars, oh god. Urmm, well anyway, she appeared but the 'picture' or image of her was fuzzy, like the signal was bad and it flickered but then she was there.

Her appearance was…well it wasn't good-"

"Wasn't good?" Edward sneered, his head snapping up and his eyes narrowed at me.

"She was a mess, she was bloody, she was wet and looked like she had been dragged through bushes with shards of glass as leaves. I think wasn't good is a bit of an understatement." He said through gritted teeth, then looked back down and stared at the floor.

"Like Eddie said, she looked a mess, she looked…like someone had gone and stabbed her. Anyway, we couldn't smell the blood, we couldn't smell Bella, it was like she wasn't even there apart from…she was. She didn't speak, she just, kind of cried a little and stared." I finished not really knowing what to say

We all sat in silence and I felt the air become tenser and the slightest little brush of air on my face, like dancing fingertips but just as soon as it came it was gone. I couldn't even blink before the sensation was gone.

"I'm going to have to see this to evaluate the situation and then diagnose it" Carlisle said, pinching the bridge of his nose, a trait he had picked up from shitward.

"The problem with that is, we don't know where she is or if she's coming back, hell we don't even know if she's still in the house, state or planet." Edward said throwing his hands up.

"She's still here." I said standing and going over to the window and leaning against the glass and resting my hand against my forearm. The sun shone down on the perfectly cut grass of the lawn, the small breeze swayed the little blades and let the veins in the small plant illuminate in the light.

"How do you know" Rosalie asked in a disbelieving sneer.

"I can feel her."

_Sorry its soooo late, had a little writers block and a lot of stuff going on, I know __it's no excuse and I understand if a lot of you have given up on me. For those who haven't, know its going to be more frequent in updates if I can get them done, please don't lose hope in this story. Thank you._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Sorry its taken sooo long, i've had exams and revision to finish off, i also know i made promises to be more regular but i've also struggled with my laprtop being a naught thing, no exscuses just stating facts :P forgive me?**_

_**No one belongs to me, yet ;) though i wouldnt mind owning Jasper, Peter too...greedy girl.**_

_**I am waiting for my maybe future Beta to accept my connection to send the files throug, though i wouldnt mind others who may want the job, anyone?**_

_**This is un beta'd though i did read it alot, aloud and in my head, so i am sorry if there are any mistakes. Though i do encourage creative critasism i dont want mindless meaness. **_

_**Also, thank you to all who reviewed last time for your wonderful comments and support, i will be doing personal thank you's to all who review this time, if anyones still with me. **__**I may just hop through the screen and lick you face like an eager puppy in thanks, i'd be THAT grateful. Not that i'm not for the support i'm getting now.**_

_**'Stop rambling Jess and just let them read'**_

**_'as you wish you majesty.'_**

**_Thanks for reading._**

* * *

><p>And I could, I could feel her in the walls and the floors, the darkness that splashed around the home like gushing water filled the place up with death. But I didn't become consumed by sorrow for the little sister I had never known, I was disbelieving. We still had no idea what was wrong with her and we didn't know if it was good or bad, so for the mean time, my emotions were abandoned and my fight for answers rose up.<p>

Carlisle was in his personal study/office, researching what we had described and coming up with nothing. He had suggested several times to get Eleazar down for a visit and see if he could work some of the puzzle out but at this suggestion everyone seemed to cringe inwardly.

Bringing them here meant the Denali sisters, we weren't as selfish to not get them here just because of Tanya, Irina and Kate's lust problems, the problem was that if they all came, they would want to take over the whole thing.

And I could not let them do that.

They were also very close to the Vulturi, Eleazar would do anything to stay under Aro's thumb, we were already on his radar and we didn't need him sneezing on us. He was already sniffing us out.

Bella hadn't been seen in eight hours, the less I saw of her the more urgent my feelings became to sort this whole mess out and get the hell away from this place. Peter had called and told me he would be coming here in a couple of weeks, yoda loving bastard.

Peter, my brother in every meaning of the word, always knew when I needed him. Either from his Yoda senses or his instinct, he knew. We had been through hell together and come out on top, I don't know how we did it now, but we did.

Changing Peter was the best decision of my whole existence.

I had come across him while hunting a young female, he was drunk and as he passed by his spicy but also homier scent caught my attention. He stumbled down by the ally of a saloon and passed out; I quickly snatched him up and ran back to camp.

I wanted to capture that scent for when I was feeling depressed and home sick, not that I can remember much but it still stings to think of a family left behind.

Instead I got Peter and he was better than the comfort, he_was_ family.

Charlotte, Peters mate and my sister, had completed our family not long after I changed Peter. She was working for her father in his shop in town, a little woodwork shop. Her bright blonde hair and big bust had caught my eye and my mind was set.

Though when I brought her back to camp, already changing, Peter became possessive and demanded her. I hadn't even touched her, well I bit her but that was it and he didn't speak to me for weeks. He eventually came and apologised after realising he was in love with her, I forgave him and he let me meet the vampire Charlotte.

Back then, we didn't know of mates. Maria had never told us simply because all she wanted was for us to fight for her and once we had done that, we were at her disposal, we had no purpose or that's what we thought.

Once you've found your mate, you have a purpose, to protect and love her and until you do, it's to find her. She wouldn't give us hope; I guess some would see it as a blessing, to me, a curse. My mate could have died years ago with the time I wasted with Maria.

Even though Peter was near around the same age as Charlotte, Charlotte was sentenced to death at the end of her newborn year. Peter was my second in command due to his excellent fighting skills of my teaching, he was always thinking off new strategies and helped plan, the perfect commander.

Charlottes fighting skills were good enough for her to get by but weren't up to Maria's standards for her age so she put her in the 'must kill pile' and shuffled it towards me. Peter had come to me panicking about his 'one true love' dying and I could only sympathise.

I knew he needed help, so pulling him aside a few hours before; I made a plan with him. He would grab her and run as soon as I had my back turned, Peter had another gift to cloud his and close range people scent but only slightly, making it hard to track them.

I would say I tracked them for miles and eventually lost them when he put his cloud up, the plan worked and although we had planned it to make it as though it wasn't planned, Maria had her doubts.

She made sure where my loyalty lie that night with her sick games and twisted thoughts, I had the scars to prove it.

After that, she made sure I was watched and I was finally starting to lose patience with her, my anger grew and grew with each day and the fact my feeding off humans was becoming harder to handle wasn't helping.

I was on the edge of snapping and then, finally, Peter showed up, which was stupid and a very dangerous decision on his part. He was leaning against a tree, chewing on a piece of straw. Cocky bastard. We were about a mile away from the camp grounds as he explained about his new way of life to me.

It took me a while to register he was telling me a different way to live, a better lifestyle for me and I was ready to jump at the chance, we were soon making our way to his secluded home in Montana, where Charlotte sat worried on the steps of our new home.

The lifestyle was better than the violent one I had just left behind, but my empathic power still ate at me while I fed and I couldn't handle it anymore. Peter and Charlotte were tired of feeling my depressive moods projecting on them, though they would never say it.

I left and wandered around for a while and then finally stepped into a diner and met Alice. She saved me and for that I am forever grateful, she led me to my salvation and guided me through the shit that had accumulated around me over the years.

I had gained confidence, I had gained respect, I gained a family and I gained a life.

I will always be hugely grateful to Peter and Charlotte as well; without them I would have nothing, I would probably be a pile of ashes blowing in the wind.

I quickly rushed out of the house and into the woods, fleeing the troubled emotions for a while to hunt. The wind rushed passed me and the trees waved at me as I ran past them, I smirked back at them but other wise gave no other acknowledgement to them.

I sometimes talked to the life around me, to let it out or just to ramble, I don't know. I guess, sometimes, I feel alone. I have no one to really talk to, apart from Peter but it's hard to talk with bad service and…I can't do it over the phone. He's not the serious feeling type either; I have to be, considering my power.

Moving into the big opening to the meadow Edward had claimed as his own, I spot a mountain lion lounging in the sun and clawing at a small butterfly fluttering at its head. No wonder Eddie claimed this place; his favourite animal to drink from was a mountain lion.

I watched it silently for a while and then started to stalk towards it, but then this small lion cub starts to patter around happily towards its mother and I couldn't do it. I watched as the lions slowly fell into a sound sleep in the sun, I soon felt the mother stir as I tried to move around them, her fear and protective nature kicked in as she silently sent me a warning growl.

I ran through the woods until I found a herd of deer and quenched my thirst and then buried the carcass quickly.

I couldn't get the lions out of my head, I would never have that.

I would never be a dad and I thought I had accepted that but I think deep down I still held a little resentment to this life because of that and I was a little shocked at how deeply the whole scene in the meadow had affected me.

It was an emotional week to say the least and it was only Tuesday.

I made it back to the house as Esme came up from the basement looking a little disappointed; she shook her head at my silent question if Bella had been seen.

"Where could she be? I've searched everywhere…" Esme said, rubbing her eyes in a human way as if she was actually tired.

"I don't know Esme, have you searched the garden, she always like spending time out there with you." I said making my way up to Carlisle's study as she nodded and headed out the back door.

I knocked on the cracked open door to his study and he quickly told me to enter.

"Find anything?" I said running a hand through my muddy locks, he glanced up at me from the screen of his laptop and shook his head.

"Some but I wouldn't even bother mentioning them since there all ludicrous and ridiculous. Frankly, it's impossible. But there are no answers, none of the symptoms you explained to me have any answers on here and I've searched all of my books, nothing." He said with an exhausted sigh and turned his chair towards me.

"Carlisle, were vampires, what's more ludicrous and ridiculous than that…? Nothings impossible, what are they?" I said eyeing him with an amused grin.

He gave a small smile and then listed the small list that he had come up with.

"Well there's a Banshee, ghost and ghoul, but none are really that…believable just myths and legends, though as you pointed out, so are we. But Bella can't be any of those things, surely." He said, leaning his head on his hand and looking at me questioningly.

"I don't know, honestly, I'm just glad we have suggestions. Why don't you write what those are and can do, then everyone knows more about it and has at least an idea of what could be going on when we all talk about what every ones found later." I said, rising slowly but before I could get to the door, he said something.

"Jasper, what if she is one of these things, what do we do?" he questioned, I didn't turn, I simply shook my head and carried on through the hall to my bedroom.

I didn't know how to reply, I didn't know what was to happen. I felt uneasy about the whole thing but then again I wasn't going to be prancing around and sprinkling pixie dust over the whole thing. That was Alice's job, keep everyone happy and hide behind the hyper façade.

Shredding my clothes, I took a shower, the boiling water heating my marble stone skin and washing away the muddy surface of the grime covering my body. Feeling the frozen muscles in my body coil up, I cringed at the slight twinge in my chest, like a tugging of the muscles, trying to move at an unrecognisable force.

Shrugging the feeling off, I washed my hair and body quickly and then grabbed one of the white towels waiting, pulling it around my waist lazily.

I entered my bedroom again, finding Alice sprawled out on the bed, looking rather, well, naked.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Edward, searching the news or the town like Rose and Emmett are?" I asked, ignoring her bare body and walking to my draws to gather my clothes.

"Nope, Edward has gone for a hunt and to talk to the school about having some time off; of a death in our family. Rose and Em are in town gathering information but I am here, supposed to be being loved by her husband" she said in a small voice, I inwardly sighed.

"Alice, please stop. I need time, I explained that to you, not in a very good way I admit but I explained I needed time away from this place, family and you. I told you how I couldn't do this anymore, why are you pushing me?" I said grabbing a black t shirt and some dark wash jeans, I heard the sheets rub as she moved on them.

"Jasper, please make love to me" she said desperately, I couldn't face her, didn't want to; I knew I couldn't and it wasn't just the rejection and humiliation she would feel from me, she would have to deal with the family's as well as their sympathy.

"Alice…" I tried, I wanted to fast forward this moment, or freeze time or do something to stop what would come next.

"Please Jazz, make me feel beautiful again" she whispered, more ruffling sheets followed.

"I can't." I stated through gritted teeth and clamping my eyes shut as I felt the emotions run through.

Hurt, rejection, insecurity, sadness, humiliation, embarrassment and disappointment, I felt it all and all I could do was wait.

I heard the little sob and then the door soft shut as she left the room, I dropped to the floor, my clothes sitting in a messy pile on my lap.

"She'll recover you know, she's strong" A sympathising voice whispered in my ear and I nodded noncommittally but slowly shock covered me in a film layering as I turned my head to the left.

And there sat Isabella Swan.


	4. Chapter 4

**_I know it's been a while...well longer than a while, I am sooo sorry. I have some news for you though, the story is unfolding and on Christmas day, special chapter, will revile what happened to Bella and what she is…I may squeeze in a short chapter before then, since I have Christmas break after this Tuesday. Thank you for sticking with me, in the next chapter we will also find out what they all know, exciting. _**

**_I own nothing, I just like to taste SM's ice cream flavours and mix them up…don't worry, she doesn't mind...Much. ;D_**

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><p>I didn't know what to say.<p>

One part of my mind was screaming to tell her she shouldn't of being here to witness that.

Another was telling me to hug her and never let go.

Another was saying to approach talking to her cautiously.

I was stuck but choosing to not pass the opportunity by, I decided to listen to the latter. I slowly moved to angle my body to face her and got as close as I could before she started to inch away from me again.

My hand itched to reach out to her and stroke her pale bloodstained face, to comfort her sad dead eyes, to slowly pull her to me and let her cry. Struggling with these new feeling and passing them off as a need to comfort a sister, I spoke softly.

"You like doing that, don't you?" I questioned, studying her face, her lips seemed cracked open and chapped, her eyes were distant and yet she was still coherent and talking as if nothing had happened. Her nose scrunched in confusion and her eyes crinkled adorably. Pieces of crimson clumped hair stuck to her face and hung loosely down her waist.

"I like a lot of things Jasper, so sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to elaborate on that." She said sighing and letting her legs slide out from under her on the hardwood floor and sprawling her legs out in front of her.

"Sneaking up on us or, well, me" I stated, watching her intensely.

"Yes, especially when your in all states of undress." She said sarcastically while reminding me that all I had on was a towel and a pile of clothes covering me.

She stood up and walked around the room, looking at pictures and nick knacks that lined shelves and the dressers, feeling in no way like it was an invasion of privacy. I slipped out of the room and into the bathroom to change into the clothes I had in my hands, for going underwear.

I took a moment to think of what to do, I could call Carlisle in and let him see her, as soon as the thought came though a growl vibrated up my chest and threw my mouth and I touched my throat in shock, not understanding the reaction.

I could get as much information as I could and let them clue in by themselves, listening to our conversation and then fill in the blanks later when we all discussed what we thought was happening, hell, she may be able to join in the conversation.

When I re-entered the room, she was letting her fingertips ghost over the spines of my book collection, mostly history books or something to do with the civil war.

"Bella, can we talk?" I asked stepping behind her, she didn't stop her fingers from moving an inch away from the books as they moved but she did slow her pace down as she replied.

"Depends." She answered in a sigh almost tired of the conversation, like she had spoke of nothing but the subject that was to come, when we hadn't even touched upon it yet.

"On?" I asked, wanting to know the boundaries of topic before we started. I didn't want to start something and say the wrong thing, scaring her off and getting no answers because of my carelessness.

"If it's about the elephant in the room, I would rather just be ignorant to it" she said walking away to a wall of photos of me and Alice, our wedding, valentines days, family days out and others from over the years.

"I like this one" she said stretching onto her tip toes to point to one of the highest ones in the rows. It was of me on one of our family days, we were at a rollercoaster park and I was smiling lightly at the camera, it was the only one of me without Alice at my side.

"This elephant, wouldn't it be better to discuss it" I said trying to coax her to talk about what had happened to herself, she seemed to be hypnotised by one photo though, not listening to a word I was saying.

It was of Alice and me together, the most recent one. Alice was looking at the camera, smiling brightly and reaching behind my head to make bunny ears. I was however looking the other way, not even looking at the camera or Alice, my face had a scowl set and I looked like I was hunched over.

"Nope, I think it likes being left in the dark, it's nice and comfortable, easy to sleep in. Better than the blinding light shining on it, it prefers to live in the darkness after all, everybody's abandoned it there." She said giving me a quick glare.

"Woman stop speaking riddles to me and talk to me, what do you mean you were abandoned in the dark?" I said, my brow furrowing in confusion and frustration but I could sense and hear Carlisle calling the family back to see if they had discovered anything on Bella and Esme listening in on the other side of the door.

She turned and walked up to me slowly and stretched up to reach my ear, her lips felt like they were caressing my lobe with the cold breeze her form brought. They quietly whispered.

"Ask Eddie boy" and then, she was gone, again.

I stood there for a minute trying to work out what that meant but nothing came to mind, what had Edward done?

I walked out of the room and stormed past a waiting Esme, straight to the living room. Carlisle walked into the room wearing a tired expression and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"They should be back any minute now, we'll leave Alice alone for now, I'm sure she's tired. I heard you're conversation, I'll ask Edward about it when they all arrive." He said, sighing and sitting into one of the love seats, Esme quickly scurried to his side and snuggled into him.

I sat down in the arm chair facing them and leaned my elbows onto my knees; we sat in silence all of us thinking of what were to come.

About ten minutes later, Rose, Emmett and Edward walked through the living room door all looking grief stricken.

"Take a seat, we need to discuss everything. I think Jasper and I should tell you that Bella stopped by and talked with Jasper some, we got little bits of information but not a lot to go on." he said as the new comers sat and got comfortable, though still looking sad, there emotions weren't much better.

They must have found something.

"Jasper managed to keep her talking for a little over fifteen minutes; it seems she finds him most comfortable to talk with, so we'll use that to our advantage. She knows what's wrong with her but won't speak of it though she did mention something about being abandoned in the dark alone, when Jasper questioned it, she said to ask Edward." Carlisle finished turning to Edward with a suspicious eyebrow raised.

"What are you suggesting Carlisle? That I did this…to Bella?" he said, standing from his seat and his voice getting a few octaves higher than necessary.

"No, just wondering what she could have meant by than…well?" Carlisle said looking at his eldest son with a hard expression.

"I know no such things." He said sitting back down and looking away from all of our eyes, he was lying and I didn't need my gift to tell me that.

"He's lying, he knows something." I said to Carlisle.

"You either tell me or I'll make you." I threatened him, his anger skyrocketed yet he made no move to say anything, he just fixed me with a glare.

After a few minutes of his silence, I had had enough and shot out of my seat. My hand was firmly wrapped around his neck in an instant. My knuckles paled with the exuberant pressure I was putting on his throat.

His eyes were wild with panic and he was frantically trying to breath unneeded breaths, a habit that was forced by the brain telling your vampiric body you still need air out of panic when it lost its source of air.

"Tell. Me. Now" I ground out through my teeth, his expression turned into a horror filled one as I sent him all the fear and panic I could.

"O…k" he chocked out; I briskly threw him into a chair and stood in front of him, waiting expectantly.

He rubbed his throat a couple of times before rolling his eyes at me, which earned him a growl from me.

"Now!" I roared at him, he cringed away and a shiver went through his body but I was tired of waiting this information that could be crucial to what's wrong with Bella.

"O…k. I, after what happened on Bella's birthday, two days ago-" I quickly cut him off.

"We know how long ago it was, get to the point you imbecile." I ground out.

"Well, when I went to drop her home that night, my mind was decided, we would leave. In my mind we all posed a threat to her now and this proved how much of a danger we where to her and it only confirmed my earlier fears about her safety around us.

I thought you would all agree with leaving after all, Alice, Emmett and myself were the only ones who really bonded with her, I thought they would be out numbered when it came to voting, I was wrong.

I decided to break up with her so that it wouldn't prolong our stay anymore than it needed to, one less job, you know. I stopped on the forest edge of her house and told her…I told her awful things." He stopped hanging his head in shame.

"What did you tell her?" Rose asked making him continue.

"I told her…I told her she wasn't good enough for me, that I had used her as a distraction because I got bored with my day-to-day life, that she was a disposable toy to us that we had no use for anymore…" he said not meeting anybody's eyes.

I was going to kill him. Slowly.


	5. Chapter 5

**_I know i said i would post it on Christmas day as a treat but i'm going have the next chapter as Bella's P.O.V :O i know, shocking. That will hopefully be up on christmad or new years. I hope you enjoy this chapter its a little short but i will be making all future chapters longer, font worry._**

**_If i dont update on Christad (then it will be New year) but Merry Christmas, just incase._**

**_SM owns all, i just stole her dolls and like to play with them. Also, a warning for stong language and future lemons and torure, death and all around gore...soon anyway :P No more hints now, enjoy the show._**

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><p>Before anyone could move, breath or even blink, I was on him like a second skin. My breath coming out in ragged pants, venom was flying through the small gaps in between my rough razor like teeth and flecking onto his porcelain white skin, hitting him in the eyes.<p>

The pain of foreign venom getting into any source of a vampires body would sting and be painful, depending on where and how the venom got into the vampires body. Venom in the eye would sting, and if there was enough venom, could blind a vampire but in Edward's case it would just make him blink a lot for a while.

My hands were firmly locked around his neck and my head snapped forward but before I could get my teeth to sink into his neck fully I felt hands gripping me, I struggled to shake them off. As soon as I felt a new presence in the room, I stopped struggling but kept my grasp on Edward tight; I straightened up as Alice walked towards us.

Her perfectly manicured hand connected with his Jaw and the room fell silent, he didn't make an effort to move his head from the position Alice's hand had forced his head to be in and kept his eyes downcast as she told him what she thought of him.

"You disgust me. You mean less to me now than that worthless piece of shit James and he's the reason I lost everything!" she spat at him, her hands at her sides were in claws as she leaned forward into his face.

Roughly grabbing his jaw she forced him to stare into her eyes, her eyes were ablaze with rage as his were nothing but shame.

"How could you do that to her! She was nothing but loyal, kind and worthy. She was everything to this family!" she screamed as she threw her fists into his chest, the pounding was loud and I could hear the small crack breaking through his marble chest as her hits got harder.

"Alice." Esme said tentatively a worried look crossing her features; I didn't know weather it was for Edward or Alice.

Alice was feeling a range of emotions from, Ager, hatred, loss, disgust, fear but most of all empathy. She sympathised for Bella; on so many levels Bella had had it so much worse than she had but she empathised because she had also just had her heart torn out in a cruel, harsh way that no one should ever have to endure.

That was my guess anyway.

Alice finally broke down; her tearless sobs echoing through the living room as all the pain washed away the other emotions and consumed her frail body. Her bottle of emotions was set free as she let it all out. She enfolded her body in on itself at Edwards's feet, holding scraps of material in her hands from his shirt that she had ripped off when collapsing to the floor.

"Come on honey." Esme comforted as she led Alice out of the room and up the stairs to her and Carlisle bathroom, not a minute later did I hear the plug to the bath being pushed in and the tap gushing out hot water.

The room was silent; I still had a death grip on Edward, my hands practically crunching the bones together in his shoulder though he stayed silent though pain shone through in his emotions. Carlisle, Rose and Emmett stood glaring at the adolescent boy in my hands.

"What happened after that?" Carlisle asked not looking at him; he took his seat and pushed his hair back with his hands, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips.

"She begged me to reconsider my, our, decision. I said it was too late, we had already started to leave and then I asked her to promise not do anything careless. I kissed her forehead and left." He said in a timid whisper, his eyes filled with venom.

One of his eyes was slightly yellow with red rimmed edges, like a rash on his eyeball. He blinked rapidly trying to get rid of the agitating sensation that my venom was causing. Once I had all the answers, I'd show him real pain.

"What were you thinking?" Carlisle asked, his voice almost disbelieving of what had gone on, disappointment radiated out of him.

"Yeah, what were you thinking Eddie?" we all turned to her voice, her glimmering figure laid on the dining room table, her stomach flat on the dark wood and her feet up in the air behind her.

She looked at us over her shoulder, her eyes were still dead but a crimson red smile flittered across her lips. She poked her chewed, dirty, ragged nail at the design of the table cloth, she bit her nails. That was new.

Edward had always scolded her when she did something un-lady-like, biting nails was on that very long list along with swearing, smoking, drugs, drinking and sex. Prude.

A small gasp left Carlisle's lips as he caught sight of Bella for the first time, he did a double take before he gave a confirmed nod and determination set in his emotions.

"I was thinking it would her safer for you, for all of us if we left. I didn't and wont ever stop loving you." He said staring intently at her with a pained expression, his voice calm and a slightly human edge of emotion breaking through.

"Hahaha, funny way of showing it, don't you think? I mean Emmett, would you ever do something like that to precious little Rosalie?" she asked letting out a humourless laugh. She slowly rolled on her back, the wooden table not giving any signs that she was on it. She stared at the grand chandelier that hung loosely above the dining table, awaiting an answer from Emmett.

"No." Emmett whispered, looking at Rose with a sorrow filled expression that held guilt and hurt. His emotions showed the same, guilt anguish and sorrow. He saw himself as a big brother to Bella and in his eyes he had failed his little sister in not protecting her.

"What Em, I didn't hear that…" she said smugly, she had heard him perfectly she was rubbing the salt into the wounds.

"I said, no Bella." He said, looking up to meet her eyes and she smirked at him as he shuffled his feet and looked away.

"I thought so. Wouldn't want to hurt someone you love, would you? You would take there opinion into consideration, ask them what they thought, what they wanted. You would at east share you're concerns with her, after all she's you're equal, you're other half, you're mate." She had continued to talk as she hopped off the table and stalked toward Edward like he was prey, her eyes flaring and narrowing into slits, as she came to the end of her speech she hissed the word 'mate' into Edwards ear.

"Bella-" Carlisle said, his conflict over the situation increasing but his worry for his eldest son coming before that, Bella quickly cut him off.

"I'm not finished Carlisle" she snapped, her head jerking toward him as she glared into his eyes.

"Mates, funny word. Soul mate, even funnier. Equal, see that's the one that always has me in stitches." She angrily said walking over to the window and staring intently out at the canopy.

"See, my whole life, I've never been treated as an equal. I'm always below somebody, that's why it's so funny because it's ridiculous to think that I'd be Edwards mate since I always came first in his eyes and most of yours but what really came first was himself." She sneered as she glared out at the setting sun.

"I'll never have the chance now…" she whispered as her face melted into one of sorrow and sadness, I didn't think she meant us to hear it as I wouldn't have caught it if it wasn't for my heightened senses.

"I don't mean to interrupt Bella and her verbally ripping Edward a new one, because believe me, I'm loving it. But we came here to discuss what we had found in the town and her house; we know what happened." Rosalie said stepping forward and glancing at everyone with sad but determined eyes.

"You know nothing." Bella hissed and turned her icy but fiery eyes on Rose, it was so aggressive that Rose stumbled back and flinched.

"All you know is that you sit on a pedestal in front of this family looking pretty and screaming until all the attention is on you!" Bella shouted in Rose's face but Rose stayed quiet, either wanting Bella to let it out or because she knew she was right.

"Tell me Rosalie, is it because you're so thick and that's all you know how to do or is it just because you're an attention seeking conceited bitch!" she spat at her, Bella suddenly whirled around on the family.

"And you all let her get away with it; I mean Em, stop being a doormat and demand you fucking balls back because all the time I've known you, you've looked like a pathetic excuse of a man. She's a bitch, tell her." She was bordering screaming this at him, his form shrunk in.

Little did Bella know that he had refused to bend to Rose's will earlier and refused to leave her, I'm sure if she did she wouldn't have been shouting these things at him, though half of it was true.

"Does she with hold sex? Is that it; if it is then I'd be embarrassed. Hell I'd be embarrassed anyway having a wife like that; I would be scared to take her out any where in case she bumps into someone who makes her insecure. Because anybody who's prettier, smarter or even dumber than Rosalie isn't worthier of her time or her families, isn't that right _Rosie_?" she sneered her name but hit every point and truth with boldness and I admired that.

"You're dead." Rosalie shouted almost as if it were an insult, he face turned into shock as she realised what she said and covered her mouth with her hands as if trying to push the words back in before they could fully come out, Bella, who had opened her mouth to start another little speech, snapped her mouth shut and smirked.

My thoughts stuck on that one word.

Dead?

Dead.

Dead…

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><p><em><strong>(Ducks behind screen) ok, ok, Stop throwing fruit at me, i know a little cliffy, like i always do. Don't hate on the writer. Tell me what you think...<strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Merry Christmas!**_

_**Two days earlier Bella's P.O.V setting: forest**_

I was toy.

He had used me and I felt violated, cheap and unworthy. I had never thought Edward would ever arouse these feelings in me; I though he _loved _me. What a joke.

I stood here motionless in the same place he left me, thinking over everything. I couldn't believe I had been so blind.

He never loved me for me or he wouldn't have changed me, because he had changed me. He made me into nice Bella, smart Bella, and snobby Bella. The list goes on and apart from the nice Bella, the others weren't very nice. He changed me into something…icky and that was not what you did to someone you love.

I had come to Forks confidant, young and ambitious and now it felt like all that had been knocked out of me, where had it gone?

I took my blame in all this, I should have headed his warnings and stayed away, listened to my own intuition and not got involved but something in my gut, almost an urge had sent me falling into his arms and demanding I let him in.

I didn't like what he'd done to me, what he'd turned me into. It was like I'd been suffocating for months now and all I could see was him. Now he'd gone it felt like a relief, like a fog had been lifted and I could finally breathe. I could finally see the world around me now.

My grades had drastically dropped in the few months me and Edward had been dating, his time consumed me and my mind was on all things Edward. That was my fault.

I had lost all my friend, he had convinced me it was for the best, they might notice the difference in him and his family, if they questioned me I might slip up; my human brain was unable to hide any secret information. That should have told me more about his feeling, or lack of, for me than it did about me. This was his fault and mine for listening.

Me and Charlie hadn't had a proper conversation in weeks and it was draining on our relationship, I hadn't seen him at all this week because I had been busy with the family and Edward. I hadn't even spent a minute with him on my birthday…it was clear to say I felt like utter shit.

I needed to fix things, make it up to a lot of people and study as hard I could. Yes I would miss Edward, even in his jackass form, and the family but they had chose to leave me. I obviously didn't mean a lot to them if they could all just toss me aside and leave me like a used needle from an addict.

I needed to move on a sort my life out now, I had changed all my plans and put all my money on a race horse that didn't win and make the cut anymore, I had lost it all. Now I had to work on winning it all back, starting with re-thinking my future.

As I started to wander threw the tree's trying to find my way back home, I thought about what I had wanted to do before moving here. I had wanted to be an artist, painting and sculpting, capturing a moment with colours and shapes. It captivated me and I had fallen in love with art when I had gone on my first date.

Going back to the memory, I absently wandered threw the forest taking in the life that buzzed around in it, it was magical but darkness was starting to creep up on me and I felt…unnerved.

I was fifteen and his name was Anton and he was deep and mysterious for a fifteen year old boy, did I mention he was French. A European exchange student, it was all incredibly sexy.

He took me to an art museum in town and then for ice cream but all the time we spent in the art museum he had tried to talk to me but I was captivated by the beauty of the paintings. I had apologised and explained how much I enjoyed the art and how wonderful a time I had had.

He didn't seem to mind, said he liked the fact that this date was special and that he was glad I was so moved by the work there as some had brought him great joy and comfort during some difficult points in his short life.

Anton was also very mature for his age, as you can tell and I guess that was another thing that had attracted me in the first place. He didn't act like all the other boys, they were imbeciles.

I loved Anton for three weeks after that and I would always love him for introducing me to art but he isn't apart of my life and I don't think he ever will be again. It's sad to think of all the people you leave behind in you're life; I guess that's what I am to Edward, just a sad old memory.

Maybe I would dig up some of my old pictures and projects I had completed in phoenix, I hadn't sketched here in Forks though I had bought a new sketch pad when I moved. New home, new school, new start and I thought new sketchpad. Though it sat under my bed, still in its fancy packaging, as I had yet to make a single mark on the hard carded white, pure paper, undamaged.

A twig snapping in the distance brought me out of my thoughts and I whirled around, looking for the reason the noise had penetrated the eerily silent forest. It was silent, it was dark and it was scary.

I would never admit it but, in that moment with all the trees bending and twisting in the dark night and the animal's skittering away to there homes, I was truly terrified. I didn't have my watch on me; in fact, I didn't have much on me.

When Edward had come to my house; I had just gotten out of the shower and simply threw on what was closest to me. I had obviously thought to little because here I stood, in a skin tight white tank top, thin black leggings and some slipper hug boots styled like Eskimo's, standing in the freezing cold dead of night and lost in the woods.

It was pitch black now and I still had no idea of the time, would Charlie be home? Would he be searching for me?

Another twig snapped and cut through my thoughts, I took a step back from where the noise had come from; it was probably just a rabbit. Yeah, a rabbit…an evil, giant, man eating rabbit with sharp teeth and big pointy claws…shut up Bella!

As the creaks and snaps of twigs got louder, from all sides of me, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, stumbling on a uprooted tree root and falling onto my back. The vines that surrounded the floor bed of the forest were lined with thorns and cut into my skin as I landed on them.

The wind teased my skin and pebbled out into gooseflesh, I covered my breasts as I felt my nipples harden at the cold air brushing against them and making them stand up right, I had forgotten to put my bra on in my haste. Nice Bella.

I shot up as a group of birds were startled out of a tree next to me and squawked away from the danger heading towards them, my feet wouldn't listen to my head and stumbled about three more times before I managed to start running again.

I finally found an opening into a field; I must have run for miles and not noticed in my adrenaline doused haze because I had never seen this part of Forks. It looked unfamiliar.

The trees that lined the border of the field were black and twisted, making odd shapes and looking horrified and all who looked at it horrified. The grass was a shade of grey and silver with the clear night sky the moon shone down on it, the silence rang out on the muddied field. Deep water puddles scattered around on it and the mud sludged under foot and squelched through the gaps in you're shoes.

I cautiously walked out, remembering all the horror films I had watched and realised it was a dumb idea; the girl who always walked out into that field always died but then again, everyone always died in those films.

I slipped a little as I finally made it to the centre of the field but as I looked around, I noticed an opening with an arch, and it was so familiar. It couldn't be, could it?

It looked so much different a few months ago, in the middle of summer and the sun faintly shining through the clouded sky. It had flowers springing to life and had flashes of colour surrounding it, how had it gotten so…rotted.

A low chuckle rung out across what was once mine and Edwards's meadow, it sent petrified shivers down my spine and I violently started to shake, whether from the cold or the fear, I didn't know but my bet was on the latter.

A flash of red shot out and a startled scream left me as Victoria came to stand in front of me, she had smirk on her blood stained lips, curving in such a viscous way that I thought I may have just pissed myself.

Her clothes had changed; she wore an American styled bikini top that only just managed to cover her breast, her jeans were blood stained and muddy, they hung low on her hips and pooled at her feet, her toes peeking out from under the material. Her hair was a wild main around her heart shaped face, her eyes startling crimson and the childlike features looking odd with the pure hatred and evil look she was giving me.

Another breeze came and then a few male vampires stood behind her, all a little further behind each other as the line grew to about five.

The one closest to Victoria had a slightly impatient look on his features and his blonde short hair was combed back and stuck down, his nose was sharp and his jaw angled strongly. He was tall and his build was not overly big but enough to tell he wasn't lacking in the muscle department.

The others looked like animals, they had venom dripping from the jaws and chins, there frames haunched into crouches and their lips curled as they eyed me with intense gazes. I flinched back when they all, apart from Victoria and her friend at the front, started snarling at me.

"Hello Bella." She said, this was the first time I had spoken to Victoria and that voice was not what I was expecting to come out of the frightening women that stood in front of me.

It was like a mixture of peaches and candy canes, it was sweet and endearing, like an innocent child's. I imagined it would have melted a marshmallow with its sweetness but the coldness would also have made an ocean freeze over.

"Vicky." I answered nodding to her in greeting, I may be shit scared but I wasn't going to show her that, even if she could smell it, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

"I have come to collect what I am owed." She practically purred as she stalked toward me, her hands gliding over my sides.

"And what's that?" I said cringing away from her touch and stepping out of her reach, she cackled and grabbed my hand pulling my back flush against her body.

"You're corpse of course…" she said hissing it into my ear and she ran her nose up my neck and her hands dragged there way up my sides, her nails digging into my skin and nearly piercing the flesh. Her hands wound there way around me and then just as quickly, I was sent flying to the man in fronts feet and my body slipped as it was now slick with mud.

"But I promised my friends they could have there fun first." She chirped happily as she grinned and wagged her fingers at the vampires looking utterly feral behind the lead one and ushering them forward.

Crawling up on my hands and knees, I saw them approaching me like I was there meal but then again, what did I expect, I was a meal to them.

I screamed as one of the brown haired vampires pulled me up by my hair and dragged me to my feet but then the others came and they all started fighting over 'who got to have me fist' as I tried to pull out of his grasp. I'm sure some of my hair had come out in a tangled mass in his hand but I was willing to do anything for my freedom.

"I want her first and I should get to have her first, I have been working the hardest." The one who had hold of my hair growled as he tugged harder on my scalp with each word.

"Not true, you know we've worked just as hard. Why should you get her first?" The other approaching us with sandy brown hair shouted as he tugged his hair into a pony tail as if to say 'I mean businesses'.

"Why shouldn't I!" the one who still had hold of me screamed at the rest of them approaching us, looking ready to attack.

"Boys, boys, you will all have you're turn with her but I think Riley should get his reward first not that you all haven't earned it." Victoria's peals of laughter echoed as she caught sight of my tear stained face.

I tried not to cry, I really did but imagining what she meant by rewarding these male vampires scared me more that I ever thought possible. I wanted to be at home with my dad watching a baseball game with him or chatting with my mum on the beech with the heat warming my pale skin.

Movement pulled me from my thoughts as I was passed to someone else, I looked up to see this 'Riley' looking sternly ahead and dragging me a little away from the rest of them so that we had he had his space to…do what ever he was going to do to me.

He pulled me to my feet and without warning pulled my leggings down to my ankles and brought my panties down with them, growls filled the air as my bare vagina was on show. The cold air hit my skin and it felt like I had been encased in ice, I was violently shaking and my teeth chattered to the point I thought they were going to shatter.

Tears ran soundlessly down my face as I felt the humiliation and horror creep over me, no one was coming and no one could save me, I felt sick as he ran his hands up my bare legs up to my opening and painfully thrust two dry fingers into me.

I screamed in agony as his rough fingers practically ripped me open, I felt the blood trickle down my leg as I felt myself begin to see black spots, no I wouldn't pass out. I needed to show them I wasn't fazed that they couldn't harm me and that Victoria could do what she liked but it would never affect me. I needed to prove to myself and the vampire race how strong I was.

They all sniffed the air and I could hear the wind gushing up their greedy nostrils and I instantly felt sick but I shook myself and wiped my eyes.

"A virgin, how nice for you Riley." Victoria smirked as she watched with pleasure and glee written on her face.

A wet tongue ran up the inside of my thigh, licking the blood from my skin and working its way up, I let out the best fake moan I could and tried to act as if I was enjoying it. I had never been a good actor and right now I wished to the heavens above they would grant me just this one good performance before I died.

A growl echoed from the mouth on my thigh, clearly annoyed I was enjoying his action to my body, I simply smirked down at him forcing my quivering and chattering to the side as I made my body react the way I wanted, needed it to.

I was pushed into the sloppy mud once again but this time Riley hovered over me, looking at me with hungry eyes but his mouth never moved from its permanent scowl and I just fluttered my eyelashes at him.

It was taking everything in me not to scream, not to beg not to thrash and cry out for my daddy but I refrained pulling all the strength I could out of memories and the peace that would come at the end of this.

"Stop." Victoria said as she moved closer to us and was quickly face to face with me, I tried to remain emotionless in the eyes and keep the smirk on my lips but she must have seen right through my façade as she commanded him to keep going.

His rough hard lips pressed into mine as he pushed another finger into me and I let a cringe of pain slip through my mask. He plunged his tongue into my mouth and let no area in there go un-probed by his rough pointed tongue.

His fingers pulled out of me and I was thankful as the sting had begun to reside and I was finally able to breathe as he pulled away from my unmoving lips and knelt down.

A hand slipped on each of my thighs pushing them apart roughly until something cracked and I was sure he'd just cracked or broken my hip bone. I let the pain consume me as the tears rained down my cheeks and I whimpered at the searing pain.

Suddenly my back was arching into his chest as I screamed out in pain and terror, it penetrated the air because he was inside me and it stung, it burned and felt like a bus had just slammed into me.

"That's my girl." Riley and Victoria both whispered as she lay down next to us and looked at my pain stricken face with excitement and accomplishment. Rising up with as much energy I had, I spat in her face and let my limp body fall back to the ground.

"Make her scream again Riley, for me." She whispered, flicking her wrist and wiping my spittle away from her face.

He slammed back into me and I was sure I heard something tear and I was suddenly arching again as my scream came out in a panting breath but as I fell back to the floor I let out a loud cackle and turned my tear stained face towards her.

I smiled menacingly at her; she glared at me but looked rather pleased at my scream.

"And again Riley." She commanded as he pounded into my limp body, cracks echoed around the meadow as my body began to break as he impaled himself into me.

"Again, again, again!" she sang as my cried and screams came out of my throat, I tried to fight it, I really did but it was too much. When he finally came inside me and I felt that shoot of ice cold liquid seep into me deep somewhere it was a relief for his being threw with me but the sting of his semen hitting the tares inside me as it travelled through my body stung like a slap on a winter day.

He slumped a little and looked into my eyes, his head not too far away from mine; if I leaned up I could touch his with my own.

So that's what I did, I slammed my head into his as hard as I could manage in hopes of knocking myself out. My body finally went limp and I saw nothing but darkness.

When I woke, I'm guessing not too long after that, one of the other vampires were violently raping me, much the same way Riley had. Although this one liked to scratch, he ran him finger nails down patches of my skin until blood dripped from them and I thought I'd throw up.

So much for my act…stupid gods.

I felt numb and cold, lifeless.

He was soon finished and as the other three came and went I felt less full of life and empty than I had ever felt before.

Victoria then stepped up to my body and leant down to whisper in my ear as she pulled out a switchblade from her back pocket.

"This is the end of the line Bella, I have left you broken and worthless like you and you're _Edward_ left James and then me. I aren't even going to drink from you because you don't deserve to have a quick death and I wouldn't want you're dirty, _cheap _blood to run through my dried up veins. I hope you burn in hell you little bitch" she sneered as she flicked the blade out.

I felt the sharp intense pains of my body being cut open and pressure building in my stomach and then a cold foreign movement inside my stomach. A pull was dragging out of my stomach as something was taken from me.

"Here Bella, it's you're heart, I thought you might like to see it one last time before I show you what you did to mine." She whispered wagging my half beating heart in front of my face.

And then she slowly wrapped her fingers around it and squeezed on it until it turned to mulch in her hand, I could feel my life slipping from my body but it didn't seem to becoming quick enough.

"Good bye Isabella." she growled and then she was gone, my breathes weren't coming because there was no heart to pump oxygen into my blood. My brain was functioning properly, apparently but for how long.

I felt the darkness encase me and I silently told my mum and dad that I loved them before I let myself get washed away.

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><p><strong><em>So that was you're christmas presant, will you give me one back and REVIEW! please x<em>**


	7. AN for chaper 6

Sorry for not warning you and disappointing some, I feel terrible about it…I do have a plan and Bella is dead at the moment (no hints) and I know some of you hate that and don't like where this story is going and I am truly sorry for that but I can't take it away from the path its going down now and to be honest I don't want to. I like this story the way it is at the minute. I'm sorry I didn't warn you at the beginning of the sixth chapter, I did rate it M and warned you in the last couple of chapter, I just forgot to warn you in my rush to get it out. It's un-professional and I am deeply sorry. Thank you for all who reviewed and read it.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hope you're all still with me, I have some new faces in my reviews, thank you all for joining us on this journey. Sorry for leaving it so long and it is a short chapter but i will start updating more, i promise. I hope you enjoy. **_

_**Some shout outs...**_

_**Winchester Squishy**__**, thank you for you're support and giving me confidence in my story. **_

_**LiesTemptHer, Thank you for giving me a little shove and telling me I did my job well, I did take you're feelings into consideration about my story and I'm sorry to disappoint. Thank you for you're much needed support.**_

_**Anabely**__**, THANK YOU! **_

_**I will do three shout outs each time I update but thank you to all reviewers.**_

_**Here it is.**_

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><p>Bella let out a humour full laugh and let her head fall back in her chuckles, her eyes closed and I'm sure she had tears falling down her cheeks but I couldn't see her face.<p>

After she finally clamed down, she stared at Rosalie with a twisted smirk and levelled her with a cocky glare.

"Well aren't we just a regular Nancy Drew" She almost burst out laughing again in between mocking her.

"No, really Rosalie, what gave me away? Was it the fact I'm practically invisible? Or that I'm covered in blood? Even better, was it that I can't be or touch anything? Well now that we've got the clues out in the open you can put you're magnifying glass away Colombo." She said with a mocking tone but near the end bitterness leaked in.

"Alright, enough with mocking, what happened Bella?" Rosalie snapped at her but her sorrow and regret crashed into me at all sides.

"Oh shut up _Rosie_, I don't have to tell _you _anything. I owe you nothing. You didn't like me from the start, didn't even give me a chance. And you all want to know _why_, it's because Rosie here was raped. The fact that she was raped and turned into a vampire fucked up her head so she took it out on the only person she could. The only person _weak_ enough, a human. Me." She sneered at her, facing away from us.

Rosalie winced but held up her hands at Emmett when he was about to interrupt, she felt conflicted. She knew it some way it was true, she had been mean and resented her without giving her a chance but they weren't for those reasons.

"Tell me Edward, have you been to the meadow lately?" she said as she turned, she had a curled smile on her lips and in that moment, I truly didn't know this girl. She looked evil, twisted and horrifyingly familiar.

She reminded me of me from my days with Maria, empty but hating and angry, full of hate and rage that came out in evil spurts. She would only end up destroying herself; I would have if Peter and Charlotte hadn't saved me.

But who would save her?

"No, not recently. It's not in very good condition as to the weather; I don't like it that way. Is there a particular reason why you asked?" he said with a confused wrinkle on his forehead as if he were thinking hard.

"No, no reason at all." She said with a chuckle in her throat that she didn't let come out.

"Bella, please tell us what happened" Carlisle begged but she didn't say anything until the room was quiet for a long time.

"I want to know what they know first…" she said staring pointedly at Rose, Emmett and Edward. Alice shifted around, feeling irritated and sad.

We all sat down but my head was still stuck on the fact Bella was dead and wasn't coming back. I could only watch her as the rest of the family took the spots on the couch and began to tell what they had discovered.

"Me and Em went hunting and then decided to go into town to the news agents and check the papers and we thought that there would be gossiping, we were right.

Jessica Stanley has recently taken a job at the local shop, she's known for gossiping and spreading news and so as Em was picking up news papers and searching, I talked with her.

She told me that Bella had been reported missing on Friday, that Charlie had been loosing his mind and that Renee, you're mother, was in Forks to help look. They had no indication of what may have happened or where you may be but that they were now looking for a dead body at this point." She said looking into Bella's eyes sadly.

Bella murmured Charlie and Renee's names quietly before looking off with tears in her eyes, her face contorted into pain as Em started with what he had found.

"I looked through all the papers; they basically said the same thing. Missing student from Forks High, Isabella Swan dead or alive? You know, stuff like that, none really went into detail as Charlie and Renee have refused to do any interviews and nothing had been found-" Em finished but Alice quietly muttered a 'yet' and then all eyes were on her.

"What have you seen?" I growled at her, she shook her head and I gave a warning growl sending a little bout of fear into her.

"Ok Jasper, calm down." She inhaled unneeded air deeply and then told us of what would happen.

"Bella brought up the meadow for a reason, her body lies there. It will be found in the next couple of days and then everyone will know of what happened." Alice said looking at Bella, Edward let out a loud sob and then ran up to his room.

"They will know nothing." Bella ground out, her and Alice glaring at each other, fighting for dominance over the situation.

"Well should I tell them or are you going to?" forcing Bella's hand and normally I would have stopped it but I was curious to know what had happened.

Bella plastered a fake smile onto her face and turned to all of us, she started talking cheerily as if it was about the most carefree subject in the world.

"Victoria found me, she wasn't alone, she had some males with her. She wanted revenge and they needed rewarding, I was the reward…I held their pleasure. I was raped by them and then she told me what she thought of me while she put her hand inside my body and pulled my heart from my chest." She said and turned to Alice.

"Happy?" she questioned walking away from us, I felt loss, longing, hurt and rage spring through me at such a height that before I knew what I was doing I was throwing shit that littered the house and smashing them up, they didn't mean anything to us, we didn't even need them.

The room was silent apart from my raging snarls and roars, it was like they were mourning, and they had accepted it and it just fuelled my anger more. We weren't giving up, we'd find away to…

"To what Jasper bring her back? Save her? Come on the genius, tell us what you've got planned!" Edward yelled, as he sped into the room from upstairs and stood before me, raging.

"Don't go." Bella said, moving away from us and wandering to the staircase, she turned to face me and looked broken, almost as if someone had folded her and folded her until she unfolded herself and found herself all creased and punctured.

"Go where Bella?" I asked, she looked me in the eyes, as if she wanted me to dig the meaning out of them.

"To my body, don't go." She answered and just like the many other times, she disappeared with a cloud of glittering dust.

My instincts were warring with me to go and try and salvage what may be left but inside I wanted to do as she'd asked, not hurt her or betray her word by going. My body longed for the short run to see her face again, to touch her hair and smell that scent for what would, could be the last time I ever do but my mind was telling me it was wrong to go against her wishes, to be like Edward and disregard her feelings.

I didn't even know where any of this was coming from, she was an acutance barley that. I couldn't call her a sister, it felt wrong and I had barely spoke a word to her while she was here though not necessarily my fault, she had spent every waking moment with Edward.

My need to comfort her and be with her was an irresistible itch I had no control over though and it was quickly spreading, like a wild fire in the forest.

"I'm going, I need to see her." Edward spoke up, his hands fisted in his hair.

"No, I don't think that's a good idea son, maybe Rose and Emmett should go and bury her." Carlisle spoke up from his perch of stroking Esme's hair in a comforting manner.

"Why should we go! I don't want to see her like that, I don't want Em to see her like that, he loves her like a sister, you shouldn't even put him in this situation!" Rose yelled, her eyes growing stormy as the yellow mixed with the black until they were onyx and full of rage and hate.

"It was only a sugge-" Carlisle started but I had heard enough.

"If I don't go, no one goes!" I roared and they all flinched but I felt this possessive rage over who would see her body in such a vulnerable state and it completely panicked me.

"Well then, what do you suggest, we let her body rot?" Edward yelled back at me, his eyes just as dark as mine and Rose's by this point.

"Shut up Edward! I don't want anyone seeing her until I have. As selfish as that may be, you can deal with it, all of you!" I shouted and the room was silent, as was the house.

It felt eerie and dark, like someone had poured a pot of ashes on our house and decided to rain there grieving tears on our once warm sunny home.

I was exhausted emotionally and I needed to get out, I needed my brother and I needed Bella back. I just had to find out how to do that and why I actually needed her in the fist place.

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><p>Review!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Running did nothing to get away from the emotional turmoil going on inside the house because it wasn't just inside the house; it was inside me, in every step, every un-necessary breath and every ghost of a heart beat I heard. It was the ache in my chest, the burn in my throat and the caged animal inside my head.

Picking up my pace, I jumped on some nearby rocks, flying over the wide lake near the meadow and coming to a stop at the opening of the trees. A couple more steps and I would see her, I would be near her, feel her but I wouldn't…because she was gone and I didn't understand, didn't think I ever would but that one thought seemed to claw at my world until there was nothing but shreds like scraps of a shredded painting.

The mud slowly sunk my boots a little more as I still stood at the opening, the trees seemed to be moving, breathing and calling to me not to go through, warning me what horrors lay ahead. They croaked and groaned and there vines whipped around me as if to anchor me in one spot.

I didn't push them away, I welcomed them because if I crossed that line in front of me, it wasn't the only line I would be crossing. I would be destroying what trust Bella had in me, I would be breaking my promise, my word and I always stood by my word but there was the little voice in my head telling me no one would ever know, she wouldn't find out. But I would know, I would always know and I don't think I would be able to hide it.

"Jasper, brother, don't do it." The voice shocked me, was it real, if I turned would he be there or was I going mad? I wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter, in fact I think id be thankful that id gone mad because this whole thing was crazy but then again I was a vampire…maybe I was mad.

Chuckling softly and maybe a little bit hysterically, I spoke to him…or the crazy voice that was my imagination impersonating him.

"Peter, I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like ive gained everything and lost everything all at the same time but then again what have I gained and what have I lost? Nothing makes sense anymore, she's a ghost but then how can we see her and even so, what is she still doing here, aren't dead people supposed to, you know, stay dead? And the family don't know what to do, there asking me to lead and I'm still looking for a direction to lead them in. It's all just fucked up." I said as I looked up through the trees and the vines toward the purplish sky, it was beautiful and reminded me of a lavender soap I once smelt in the bathroom after Bella had showered in there.

"I know brother but trust me, things will work out, maybe not any time soon but they will. You just have to get through all this shit to get to the good stuff and believe me when I say there is a good coming. I'm going to help you through this, I'm going to help you lead and I'm going to help you get to the light at the end of this tunnel because it's faint at the minute but one day it's going to soar like a fire and it wont stop burning until it's consumed you." His hand was on my shoulder, gripping lightly and slightly pulling me back towards him, back to sanity.

As I moved away from that tree opening, I felt as if a piece of me had been left in that spot, tied down with vines and suffocating in its bark.

As I turned he quickly pulled me into a tight hug, his long muscled arms surrounding my tight flexed back and surrounding me with the scent of warmth, sun and desert sand, this confirmed in my mind, it was in fact, Peter. My head lay on his shoulder as he rubbed soothing circles on my back until after a while, I finally relaxed my muscles un-clenching and my arms slowly wrapping around him to return the hug.

"Thank you Peter." I shared my sincerity, gratefulness and appreciation with him and he shrugged his shoulder and with a cocky smirk he backed away saying.

"Hey, what are brothers for."

I smiled warmly at him, my mood brightening at the sight of my brother, best friend and Captain. His presence was welcome and a relief from all that was going on, I wanted to swim in his emotions as they were fresh and clean of the pollution that surrounded the Cullen's home.

The silence was not one of awkwardness but of getting a balance, it had been a while since I had seen Peter, three decades even and before we could properly talk, our emotions had to balance. As even though our vampire minds functioned faster and better than a human brain being a vampire meant having to go against instincts sometimes, even though we are basically human upgrades, for the most part we are animals that ran on instincts.

A side affect of being a vampire is having difficulty with change, for example if a nomad was alone for years and then found his mate, even though he would be ecstatic about finding the other half of his soul and would want nothing but for her to be happy, some part of his vampire brain/trait is mourning the loss of independence and isolation, maybe even the single part of his life. Its hard to become accustom to change as a vampire so when a big change happens, like meeting up with people you haven't seen in decades, you have to take a moment to get use to those people again and allow you're mind to catch up and process with what's going on.

Once I felt my body and mind begin to accept Peters presence, I sighed and went to give him a welcome hug which he accepted and patted my back with a laugh and once we separated, we started walking further into the forest.

"How you been?" my voice was smooth and calm but even I could hear the exhaustion laced in it.

"I've been good Jasper…how have _you_ been?" he asked as he pushed himself up onto a boulder that was near a cliffs edge, we must be near the Canadian border.

"I've been…on breaking point. B-B…Bella's dead." I sighed and raked a hand through my hair, clawing at my scalp.

"And she meant something to you?" now that was a loaded question.

"No! I don't know, she didn't or at least I don't think she did…does." I mumbled looking away from his face and looking up at the now dark blue night, stars were dotted about and covered with fluffy, misty clouds as if to blanket them from the cold.

"You don't sound to sure." He said, looking at my face, I could feel his eyes on me, studying my features to see if they'd slip and portray anything.

"I'm not, it's complicated. She was with Edward but he dumped her in the forest and Victoria, she was with this guy, James and she was his mate and we killed him; he went after Bella so she wanted revenge and that was her opportunity to get Bella on her own without protection. Long story short, she tortured Bella and then killed her. She keeps appearing though, Bella, in the house and…all around, she talks to us and gets mad a lot but who wouldn't; she's had everything ripped away from her and it's not as if she's resting in peace either, she's still walking and talking around here for a purpose but she doesn't know what yet or just isn't telling us yet but can you imagine. Thinking all the pain is going to go and you can finally rest only to have the pain come back and be stuck here, waiting for something to come along and you don't know what yet." With that depressing thought, I climbed the boulder as well and laid on the cold stone beside him

"But isn't that just what were doing, just with super speed, strength and all those other super fucking doper shit we have going on? Were stuck here for eternity, waiting, for something to come along and turn our world upside down, in a good way or a bad way, where all just waiting for something. I was waiting for Charlotte." He answered and I knew he was right, we were all waiting for something, but what I didn't know. I guess I would just have to wait like everyone else, shame I was impatient.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Thing were silent for awhile before he finally spoke up, giving me his opinion and advice.

"I think you need to leave this Bella to it, she'll come to you when she's ready to talk and sort things out with you, plus that will give people a little time to grieve before she kicks the dirt up again. Until then, talk to Alice, she's not my favourite person but she deserves a little more of an explanation as to why you're leaving her, send Edward to Denali as he's just going to make things harder for everyone, including himself. Ask Carlisle to send flowers to the father when they find the body and then take some time to think, hard. I'll be here but there's some things I can't help you with, realisations I can't force on you." He said wiggling into the rock as if to get more comfortable.

"That reminds me, where's Char?"

"Back with the Cullen's, she's un-packing our shit in the guest room, after all, I've got a feeling we'll be staying a while and as you know…"

"You're feeling are always right, stupid fucking yoda shit."

And for the first time in a couple of days, I laughed with Peter and felt like everything, might, just work out.

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><p><em><strong>Sorry it's short and there are errors, it's not beta'd. Hope you leave me and Jasper some review as it helps him stir the pot of creative juice thats itside my head...<strong>_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Been so long, I know. But I'm back and kind of hoping your all still with me. I'm excited to be back with this story but ready through some chapters I've realised a lot of mistakes which I apologise about, once the story is complete I might re-write it without mistakes and polish it up but for now I want to focus on updating for you all patient readers. If there are mistakes I'm sorry I'm just rushing to get it out to you.**_

Running back to the house with Peter, I was already making a list of what to do. There was so much but now that I had my brother things would be easier, I hoped.

Once we got there I could already here the family discussing Charlotte and Peter's arrival, none were particularly happy about it apart from Esme and Em. Walking into the house I decided this discussion to be over.

"Stop. These are my family and you will make them feel welcome, they're here to help us and this is how you're greeting them with judgment and unhappiness. Sort yourselves out and apologise so we can get back to sorting this mess out." I growled out as I walked over to hug my sister, she smiled warmly at me and caged me in that hug for at least five minutes, she had missed me and I had missed her.

"I missed you Jasper." She whispered reaching up onto her tip toes to kiss my cheek, I just smiled sadly at her and ruffled her hair.

"Missed ya too sis." And then the moment was over, we had to get started.

"Until the situation with Bella is sorted I'm asking to ask permission to take control over this coven and I'm sorry Carlisle but I will fight you on this." I said looking at him pleadingly to just let me take rein over this until it was over.

"That's okay son. You'll be able to understand this more than me anyway since she talks to you, but this is just until Bella is at peace." He said nodding and sitting by Esme with a sad smile.

"Edward go pack, your going to stay with the Denali's a while until this mess is sorted and then you can return. You are not to speak a word of what is going on in this house to them. Understood?" I said as his eyes grew shocked and defiant.

"You really expect me to leave while my tormented mate is here? No. I won't do it. I have every right to be here and know what's going on, I deserve to be able to help with My Mates situation!" He shouted at me.

"It's your fault she's in this situation and she's far from your fucking mate, so get you childish arse up those stairs and pack before I rip you up and mail you there instead!" I growled out as my back hunched and my body prepared to spring forward into an attack.

I sent him a good dose of submissiveness and fear, I could feel him trying to fight it as his body shook from the strain of refusing to agree to my way of things. His body slumped forward as his body gave in as he looked up at me his eyes were dark as his strength weaned from having to fight my influence.

"Please Jasper; I don't want to leave while all this is happening." His face started to scrunch up and his eyes filled with venom.

"Oh, just go Edward!" Bella's voice startled us all in the silence that had surrounding us while Edward begged.

Her frame casually leaned against the wall, her angry eyes bore into Edward. It was like the grew darker very time I saw her, her back hunched a little more, her hair more dead looking and her injuries more gruesome and rotted. It was painful to watch her deteriorate in front of us.

"Bella...I don't want to leave you in this state." He said standing from his position on the setae, she pushed off the wall with a limp and a stumble before she strode towards him.

"What state Edward? The state you left me to become?" She asked with a quiver in her voice.

"I want you to go; I want you to leave until I'm gone because I don't want to see you in my final days." She said, looking up at him, his face contorted into anguish and desperation.

"But...I don't want to." He whispered looking at her, asking with his eyes to not make the decision for him.

"You know what I didn't want...I didn't want to be left in the woods at night, I didn't want to have to run from my death, I didn't want to have my virginity taken by being raped, I didn't want to have to listen to all my bones break as they did it, I didn't want to be a reward for those vampires and I didn't want to have my heart ripped out. Literally." She said whispered but her eyes held the hatred and passion that her voice lacked.

"But it's all just tough, cause I don't want to see you again and I pray to god you just let me have this and leave." She said as her tears came out in short gasps.

Everyone was silent, watching the scene in front of them with horror filled eyes and deep sadness, Rose, Em and Esme had tears that would not fall in their eyes and I'm sure mine did too but if I did I didn't register them as I just felt numb from the pain that was raging in my chest.

"Okay." Edward said as he stared into her eyes one last time, as if memorising them. He wouldn't be seeing them again and he knew it, we all knew it. His hand lifted and stroked the outline of where he would feel her hair and sighed before slowly stepping back and leaving to go upstairs and pack.

All I could feel from him was acceptance, depression and loss. The room I was in was practically drowning in it.

Bella just stood there for a moment before she flopped into Edwards previous spot on the settee as if it would actually bring her comfort and the object made no sign that someone had just thrown themselves onto it.

She let a shuddering sigh out before looking to me, her eyes were open but I didn't know what she was showing me through them, I thought a smile tugged at her lips but as soon as I saw it, it was gone so I could have been wrong.

Peter slowly went over to her and sat beside her.

"Hey" he said with a smile, turning towards her. She turned to his and was quiet for a long time. She just stared at him until finally.

"Hey..." she said as if questioning him.

"Watchya doing?" He asked as a big smile graced his lips, he was always trying to brighten situations, though this probably had to be the toughest and most tense he had worked with.

Carlisle observed Bella carefully, taking noted and trying to act as shady as he could but I think she knew. She knew we were all watching her.

Em and Rose went to their room, I think they need time to take in what had just taken place, Alice was still in Esme and Carlisle room and Esme pottered off to prepare Peter and Chars room.

I wondered if this was the right time to go and speak to Alice but I didn't really want to miss out on the conversation happening between Peter and Bella. Deciding to wait until Bella disappeared again I took a seat opposite them.

"Waiting" she responded, her eyes flickering towards me and then back to him, if I hadn't been a vampire I wouldn't have noticed and something about it un nerved me like there was a hidden meaning in that movement.

Peter hmm'd and then took a different turn in the conversation.

"So do you like cats?" he asked, a smirk on his lips as he threw his arm over the back of the couch.

"I suppose, why?" her eyes were curious as she shuffled into the corner of the settee a little further away from him.

"I could just see you having one...one day." He said slyly and shot me a wink before walking out of the room and taking a confused but fascinated Charlotte with him. Carlisle soon realised that they left to give me and Bella some privacy and soon went off to find Esme.

"He's...odd. I like him." She said looking at the doorway where they had just left.

"He is." I replied, studying her.

Her face looked deep in thought as she continued to try and cuddle up to the settee and gain comfort from it. I so wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her...but why?

"What are you waiting for Bella?" I asked as I leaned forward as if the little amount of space closer to her would make her tell me.

"That's for you to figure out." She said finally bringing her eyes back to mine, she held them intensely, he eyes telling me something and I wanted to dig the answers out but nothing was given away as she image and that intense stare left me alone, once again.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A little bit later than I promised and I am sorry about that just job hunting plus college interviews is a bit tricky while trying to write a story that will keep you interested. I don't own anything, I'm just deeply in love with Jasper and I hate Alice for actually having him so Bella's next in line for him, hope your all still reading. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time, I've taken everything everyone's said on board and I thank you again for all your wonderful feedback. Made me a very happy writer indeed, there will probably be a few mistakes but I'll try and keep it to a minimum. Love you all.**_

Finally giving up on trying figure out what Bella meant by that, I lifted myself from the recliner and made my way to the bottom of the stairs. Looking up them I dreaded the conversation I was about to have with my wife. I was going to break her heart, more than I already had and in turn that was going to break mine.

I really didn't want to hurt Alice but what was about to be done needed to be done now. We had to finish the book we'd been writing all these years, nearly decades. We had to write the last chapter and close the book before signing our names and putting in on the shelf.

I took a deep unneeded breath and headed up the stairs, she was still in Esme and Carlisle room and so I knocked quietly on the door before opening it. She laid curled up on the bed, staring off into the distance out the window. I guess she knew what was coming.

"Alice?" I asked trying to get her attention, not that it mattered since she already knew I was in the room with her.

"Jasper." She whispered, her voice was quiet and sounded so sad. She seemed to get tinier on the large bed as time went by with no words been spoken.

I went over the bed and sat on the edge of it, not really knowing what to do next.

"I know why your here Jasper, just say it." She whispered finally sitting up and moving to sit next to me; we were thigh to thigh with our legs dangling over the bed.

"I want a divorce." There it was out. It was like a relief and a deep sadness all rolled into one, in the pit of my stomach it felt right but in my head a panic was going on. The change that being alone brought after all these years was drastic and my head was screaming at me not to do this, to grab her and not let her go but that was what being a vampire was about. Hating change because we never did.

"I know you do..." she sighed looking down before frowning.

"You remember when we first met? I was so excited because I hadn't had a friend since I was human and I was finally going to have one and I'd been what I thought was dreaming of you since I'd woken up like this. You were so shocked and cautious that I got scared Jasper, I thought you'd leave me and I couldn't stand the thought of being alone again, I was so lonely. You were the hope that kept me going all those years so in my panic, I told you we were mates which now you know was a lie but you believed me at the time and you stayed." Her voice was getting so quiet and I could feel shame and sadness coming off her.

"Why are you telling me this Alice?" I asked, not understanding where this was going.

"I guess what I'm saying is I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying, I'm sorry for making you stay, I'm sorry for being selfish and I'm sorry for preventing you for potentially finding your true mate. I want your forgiveness Jasper, if it wasn't for me we wouldn't be in this situation. We would be close friends and we wouldn't have a wedge driven between us because of a failed marriage I lied us into. I'm just sorry and I hope you don't hate me and will forgive me." She finished her eyes full of venom and her words pleading as she gripped my arm in her begging.

I didn't know what to say, of course at the time I believed we were mates but after some time with the Cullen's I realised what we truly were and I never said anything to stop our relationship, yes I hadn't been lying about it like Alice had but she wasn't blameless, I could at any point said something and stopped the whole charade, but I didn't.

"Alice, I knew for a long time before now and just didn't say anything, I don't know why. I do love you just more like a sister now a days and I did love you then. I forgive you but you need to know you aren't blameless for what a lie our relationship was and saying that you also need to know my love for you at the time was never a lie. I hope we can be as close friends as you said we should be, one day." I said, reaching for her hand and holding in mine for a peaceful good by moment to what is to be an end of our intimate relationship.

She let out a hiccup of a whimper and squeezed my hand before standing and slowly bending to kiss my cheek, her lips lingered on my porcelain skin and I felt her eyes flutter close as she breathed me in for what felt like one last time.

"Thank you Jasper...I think I'm going to spend some time up in Alaska with Edward, help him and try and sort my head out while the divorce comes through. I'll be back in a month or so if you need me before then make sure you call me." She said straightening up and leaving the room, the heaviness of the ending to decades of marriage finally hit me and I felt like weeping.

Lying back on the bed that wasn't mine, I stared at the ceiling, thinking of the happy times in our marriage, the times I loved and will cherish but that are now in the past and will be staying there.

Deciding to hear what suggestions Carlisle had I headed back to the living room shouting his name as I went. He was followed in by the rest of the house apart from Alice and Esme, who were packing for Alice and Edward departchure, Edward was hunting and being his brooding self. We all took seats waiting for Carlisle to discuss what he had.

"At first we had Banshee, ghoul and ghost but looking into them we can rule out banshee, they are an Irish myth that goes around screaming at well known Irish family's warning them about an impending death among them. Ghouls are a little more complicated since there are so many possibilities to it; one is that it's very much like a ghost and hangs around in burial grounds or other inhabitable places. The second is that the ghoul has a physical body and is like a zombie as it eats dead people except that zombies eat live people. The second doesn't sound at all like Bella but the first could be a possibility since none of us are exactly alive and a human couldn't necessarily live here without ruling all of us not dangerous so you could kind of class our house as inhabitable." He stopped and looked at our faces before carrying on.

"Then there's ghost's, again a lot of possibilities come with this. A lot of scientist have said that since there's not enough evidence to keep up the pretence that they exist, you can't see them and if they do exist they don't give you any sign that their there but then they started using the word apparition. This means that the image of the person is there but not physically, a lot of people believe that this happens when the deceased person has unfinished business or when it wants to return to its favourite places...still there is no evidence that they exist apart from people experiences that they believe were ghosts." He finished.

"Well that must be her, right? She said she was waiting for something, so that's unfinished business. She's a ghost!" Emmett said shouting in excitement as if it was his discovery and also admitting he'd been eavesdropping.

"It is very rare and I would at least say impossible but it sounds like her and we're vampires so nothing's really impossible...I'm not sure. Jasper?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know Carlisle, it sound so similar to her but I really don't know...she said I have to figure something out. Maybe that's her unfinished business?" I asked, confused and worried, if I didn't figure out what she wanted would she be trapped to this house forever rotting? Do I even want her to leave?

"Finally!" Peter shouted from the corner where he and Charlotte were sitting in the love seat.

"What?" I asked looking over at him confused like everyone else was.

"You're starting to get it."

"Get what Peter." Rose snapped.

"That Jasper's the key to everything."


	12. Chapter 12

"What do you mean key?" I asked my voice coming out gruffer than I meant for it, I needed to hunt soon.

"You're the key!" He shouted frustrated, like he'd explained it a thousand times.

"Yes, we heard you the first time Peter." Rosalie snapped, stepping out of Emmett's arms and walking over to sit on the arm of my recliner, as if, if she was closer to peter and the situation between us then she'd hear more than everyone else would.

"Well how you are people not getting this?! Me and Bella have practically given you it on a silver platter and you're still not seeing it?" He shouted, his arms flying around as if he was physically trying to fling his point in our faces.

"It hasn't been exactly clear..." I pointed out, looking around to see if Bella would appear. I could feel her moving around in the house, there was no movement or noise but I could feel her, like her aura was calling to me from a certain room in the house.

"Fucking hell Jasper, how much fucking clearer do you want it to be?" Peter said, running his hand across his face, I could feel his frustration but to be honest I was now focusing on feeling Bella move around the house.

"Clearer." I whispered, following the movement with my eyes, it was like she was undecided on where she wanted to stay. She'd moved from first Edward's to then Carlisle and Esme's, moving back and forth before finally...she walked into my study?

She moved around the room before she stilled, It was like she was goldy locks and she had to choose which room she liked best, the one full of memories she wanted to forget, the one she had parental love and protectiveness and then the one she'd always meant to be in, MINE!

Wait, what?

"Are you even fucking paying attention?" Peter snapped glaring at me before sighing, he ran a hand threw his shaggy dark hair and turned to Char.

"Baby, can we go hunt yet?" he asked waggling his eyebrows and smirking, though he was trying to lighten the mood but part of him was being serious. He was frustrated with the situation and needed a distraction for a while; he knew that he wouldn't be able to get away with her until we'd finished talking though.

She giggled before shaking her head and grabbing his hand trying to ease his stress, he smiled lightly before kissing her on the cheek and looking back at me with a serious expression.

"You listening yet?"

"Yes, sorry...she's just distracting...never mind." I answered, looking once more at the ceiling towards my study before putting my attention on him. He looked confused for a second before his expression turned to understanding.

"Good because I'm only going to explain this once, Bella said she's waiting and you have to find out what for, that's the unfinished business. Once you figure it out, everything will fall into place." He said, sighing as if a weight had literally been lifted off his chest.

"But what if I don't figure it out? How do I figure it out? Why me?" My panic was rising and I could feel the room beginning to swim in anticipation and doubt, the pressure was immense but it went deeper than that. A sense of longing, anticipation and dread started to build within me, longing for...maybe the end of this situation? Anticipation for what I was supposed to be finding and what it was and dread for what may go wrong, if I wasn't able to do what I was meant to. I felt as if the dread was for something else but I couldn't figure out what.

"That's for you to figure out, as she said. Now I'm going hunting with my mate." He said, pulling Char off the couch in a rush before running out of the house and into the distance, my guess was that they were heading to the Seattle.

Before anyone could pull me into another deep conversation about how I was to handle this, I took off to my study, not being able to wait any longer to see her. I don't know if she could sense me too but if she could it didn't stop me from purposely opening and shutting my study door loudly to alarm her to my presence. I didn't want to scare her so giving her a heads up would at least let her know someone was approaching, it could go either way. If she wanted to be alone she also had the option to leave.

Looking around I couldn't spot her so I slowly made my way through the eight rows of book shelves lining the room, getting to the end of the last row and still not spotting her I gave up, guessing she'd rather be alone. Turning around, and this is very hard to do since I'm a vampire and have heightened senses, but I jumped as I turned. There she stood her eyes boring into mine.

Her eyes darker were darker somehow.

"Jasper?" her voice was so quiet and weak, she sounded tiny.

"Bella." My voice was like a magnet to hers, when she spoke I had to answer.

She looked like she was going to talk again but then closed her mouth, her expression confused. I didn't know what to say and I don't think she did, I didn't know where we went from here.

So without thinking, I pulled a book from the shelf one at random, slid down onto the floor and started to read.

She didn't move for a while but when she did she sat against the opposite wall to me but out of the corner of my eye I would catch her shuffling closer to me, I don't know if she was aware of this but if she was she was good at hiding it.

The ache that had been coming and going seemed to ease to like a hum, it felt as if a humming bird had been trapped in my chest and was fluttering around my rib cage.

I let the book slip into my lap, my hands coming up to my chest, feeling it. I let my eyes close as I focused; of course there wasn't anything but a slight vibration...What is that?

Opening my eyes in shock they locked again with hers, her face was so close and I could practically feel her none existent breath on my face. Our stares were so intense I could feel the stir in my pants, it was odd and it shouldn't have happened because I wasn't even thinking about sex but the intensity was stirring things. Something was happening.

She continued to stare into my eyes as I tried to work out what was happening, the vibration, the intensity and now the raging boner that was happening in my pants, which was embarrassing to say the least.

"Jasper...why are you...is that...purring?" She asked, her stare getting more intense as her face got closer to mine.

She moved her head to lean it against my chest though I couldn't feel anything and I'm pretty sure she couldn't feel anything either.

Realising what she'd said, I decided to tune my ears into everything in the room apart from her voice and there it was. The noise you don't hear from a vampire ever, unless...

No, that couldn't be it.

"Yeah...that's me. Purring."

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><p><em><strong>Okay, really nervous about uploading this chapter. I didn't know if it was too soon to, to me, let so much information out. I don't want to rush the development of this story. Let me know if you think I made the right decision. Thank you to everyone supporting me and who's reviewedreviwing. I love you all, thanks for sticking with me! **_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Big thanks to everyone who reviewed, They all made me do a little happy dance, I really wanted to reply to them but it's been a hectic week and I thought 'they'd rather you get your butt moving an get another chapter out for them!' so here's your chapter. I am sorry if you would have rather had a reply to your review, I will be reply to everyone who reviews to this to make up for it...hope your all still with me and are still happy with the story.**_

_**A lot of you do have questions and it's understandable, I still have questions if I'm being honest but I promise you all of our questions will be answered and I hope I'm answering them all well and correctly. Though a lot of you would be helping me if you sent me a message with either all your questions in or just the more important ones and I might give a few answers out in the next chapters, though they will all be answered eventually anyway :) Thanks again to everyone, love you all.**_

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><p>I'd been sat in the same position for two days now, staring at the wall. I'm pretty sure my mouth was gaping like a fish, my eyes wide and dark. I hadn't hunted in a week now and it was taking its toll but I couldn't seem to get my body to move, it was in a state of shock and even though I was registering this in my head I couldn't seem to get my body to do the same and get over it.<p>

Maybe I needed to just accept it and then I'd be able to move...no, it wasn't possible. Vampires rarely find mates, never mind in ex-human-now-ghost. This whole situation was absurd, maybe I'd gone mad...maybe I'd died all those years ago in the war and this was the afterlife for the insane. Now I really sounded crazy.

Bella had grown bored of me ignoring her and left a couple hours after I realised that...just after. She continuously tried to touch me, which she hadn't done to anybody yet and when she got the same result of not being able to she tried shouting, screaming and then slowly disappeared.

Carlisle had come up worried and then left not knowing what to do, since this never really happened to vampires. We went through these kinds of states when big changes came but it lasted hours at the most, never days.

Why me?

Why her?

Why us?

I had no answers, she was a ghost and I was a vampire, there was no logic in a mating pair like that, there had only ever been vampire and vampire mating.

"Just accept it Jasper..." she was back, her face pained as her body quivered.

I finally felt a change, my face decided to react to her words and grimace.

My body was tense and started to shudder, my fists clenched and the growls that were coming from my throat echoed around the room. It was as if my body was rejecting what was happening between us.

"Please Jasper..."

The roar that tore from my throat rocked the house as everything grew silent, Bella's face saddened and sagged in exhaustion, and her frail figure slumped a little more as she lay onto the hard wooden floor. My body seemed to mirror hers as we both laid facing each other in the fatal position, the sobs that racked my body were shocking to me, the major never cried, the god of war never showed emotion...but all of the sudden it wasn't just me, Jasper Whitlock, It was the major as well.

As I buried my head into my arm, feeling like a small child and needing to hide my face, I felt helpless. My mate, the other half of my soul...was gone and there was no way I could get her back. In an instant she was my world and the pull had become unbearable. The Idea of someone hurting my mate, killing her slowly and torturing her...It felt as if every hit she took I was taking now, every snap or break of a bone was a shatter of my heart. I felt like I was dying.

As I looked into her eyes through my venom filled gaze, she looked a little relieved though her face panicked; she started to shuffle towards me, her limp body flailed as she struggled to move until finally she collapsed.

Quickly moving over to her, I picked her up cradling her in my arms. My arms ran over her mangled body, the scent of decaying flesh penetrated the air and made me gag instantly, that's when I realised. I was holding her, I could smell her.

"Jasper...I...I" she was panting furiously. The sun was filtering through the window onto her bloodstained pained face, when had it become morning again? The sun flashed the tints of green in her eyes at me; her face was so pale it was on the border of yellow, purple and blue.

"Bella what's happening?" I asked, I didn't know what was happening but something bad was going on. I could feel it, even if I couldn't feel her emotions, I could sense change in the air.

"Carlisle!" I yelled, hoping he could help her.

I could sense them all filtering into the room, quietly and sadly. What was happening?

"Jasper...you set me free." She gasped out, her voice croaky and pained.

"You'll get better now then? I helped, I realised and accepted it. You're my mate, we can be together now. Carlisle can help you now; I made us be able to touch you. That's what I needed to do, right?" I asked, my voice sounding weak and childlike.

I pulled her limp body to mine, hugging her to me, trying to feel her warmth but there was none...she was dying and I couldn't do anything about it. The sobs came again.

"Carlisle, do something!" I roared, everyone was weeping and sobbing but all I could focus on was the fact that Bella's eyes had closed and she had finally gone fully limp, there was no more talking or glittering. There was no bitterness left. There was a body and that was all that was left.

I had just found her and now I've lost her. I'd found what I'd been looking for, for decades and she'd gone within a blink, we'd hardly gotten to know each other, suddenly my world wasn't here anymore, the other half of my soul had been given to me and then violently ripped away from me. How was this fair, why had I survived for this long for this to happen?

"Jasper...she's already dead. She's gone son." The words seemed finalise what had happened, it pushed the knife in a little deeper.

As soon as they started to move forward, I pulled her into the corner with me pulling her body flush with mine before letting out a violent roar. My mind started to go dark; the spaces began to go black within it. The darkness crept in and it started to shut off. Before it finally turned off, I lay onto the floor with her, closing my eyes and letting the overwhelming darkness take over.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Big chapter hope you all don't hate me, again hope it was all at a good speed and not rushed. Give me feedback and let me know what u think. I hope I made it dramatic, sad and heartbreaking all at once. It may have a few mistakes as I rushed to get it out and I know it's a little short, forgive me? <strong>_

_**Let me know what you think, until next time.**_

_**Jess.**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**I know I've been MIA for a while, there has been alot of personal things I've had to deal with. Things at home haven't been good but enough of the pity party, let's get down to whats going on. It's time for Peter to have his chapter, i'll be working on the next chapeter as you read this one, hopefull will have it out later tonight or tomorrow. Just keep with me, thanks to everyone still with me, leave me a review letting me know what you think, it's un'beta's so may be some mistakes. **_

_**Also if any of you are a fan of the Vampire Academy books like I am, have you seen the trailer for the film? Was anybody else really dissapointed? It's all wrong but I recomend the books if you haven't read them.**_

_**Thanks again, love you all!**_

_**All sm, I just play, sue me.**_

_**Peter P.O.V**_

It had been three months, five days, three minutes and nine seconds.

Three months of pain, darkness and the unknown. Bella's body hadn't been found in the woods when Alice had said it would because it was slowly rotting in my brother's arms.

The house had started to stink, all three floors of it. Everyone apart from me and Char had evacuated because of the smell and yet Jasper still hadn't let her go. He clung to her like a child would a rag doll, his eyes forever dark pits of where his soul now lay.

We had all begged him to let her go, to let us help him. I would spend hours trying to get him to loosen his grip; it was a lot harder since I had to stay a distance away from him, since he was in the most volatile state I had ever seen him in.

Bella's body did not only smell bad but her decaying flesh had started to patch and tear where Jaspers fingers had dug in a little too hard, holes were forming and one of her eyes had already fallen out of the sunken in loose eye socket. Her flesh had discoloured to an almost black, some patches were still yellow and her bowls had released themselves of the toxins...all over Jasper.

Yet in that corner he stayed, rocking her back and forth as if it would nurture her back. He would make pained purring sounds and sobs before the growling would start. His anger and pain radiated threw the house like a bomb had gone off, it was making my heart hurt.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I didn't have the answers and the old feeling shit hadn't kicked in. I had to admit I was losing hope; If Jasper didn't come out of this then would he ever get his happily ever after?

Jasper hadn't hunted or drank anything since I don't know when, we'd tried bringing him blood but nothing was working.

"Peter?" Charlottes hand on my face brought me out of my troubled thoughts and sucked me into the depths of another thought.

What would I do if I lost her?

I don't think I could live...could be sane.

The ache in my chest started to swell at just the thought, made venom pool in my eyes and the breath wash out of me. I couldn't lose her, ever.

I needed her to live, to breath, to be. I needed her to keep me safe, keep me sane and to keep me being me.

I wouldn't be me without her. I'd be ash in the wind. I'd be a lost spirit in a body; I'd die so I could find her soul on the other side and reunite it with mine. I couldn't imagine my world without her in it; it would be dark and empty.

A lifetime without her smile, even a day without her smile seemed dull and pointless. I couldn't and wouldn't live.

"Baby?" Char's voice brought me back again and without realising what I had been doing, I had crushed her body to mine holding her to me. I stuck my head in her hair and took a deep breath, her scent instantly calming me.

We were in the forest, I had come out here to clear my head and get away from the smell. It was tormenting me having to watch my brother in that state and I needed a time out. The forest was quiet and damp from its latest rainfall, the trees swaying quietly with the wind as if a storm was coming.

"What's wrong sugar?" Her hand encircled me and started rubbing soothing circles on my back, that's the thing about mates; you just knew when you needed each other.

Without a word her lips found mine and the passion exploded through my body, this wasn't about fucking, this was about treasuring each other. Needing to know the other was there and wouldn't be going anywhere. This was about security, love and fear.

Her hands travelled down my back in a slow sensuous scratch, my teeth tugged on her bottom lip pulling it into my mouth before I gently sucked on it. Her moan went straight to my crotch and before I knew it I had her pinned to the nearest tree.

Her hand started to unbutton my shirt and I did the same to her, our eyes connecting and holding each other's while our fingers worked. Venom welled in her eyes before she slammed her mouth back onto mine. Our shirts now off we had the freedom to let our hand wander freely, my fingers unhooked the bra Char was wearing and slipped it off her shoulders.

Her lips were moving down my jaw, nibbling and sucking, she knew all the right spots to make me moan and growl. Her soft pink lips soon found my bare chest and licked her way down to my belt buckle; before she could move to undo it I had her on the floor.

Her back pressed into the wet soft mud, her hair fanned out around her gathering twigs and dirt in it, she never looked so beautiful. I kissed down her throat, taking my time to get to her chest. Her moans became impatient groans and I took that as my sign to move to her nipple...

"Something's coming..." I said sitting up, my head was buzzing with the knowledge that something was coming. Something big...something that would change everything.

"We need to get back to the house, now." I said pulling her up and passing her, her shirt. We stole one last kiss before taking each others hand and running back towards the house. Lightening flashing behind us, hitting the same spot over and over again, thunder echoing over our heads and shaking the ground.

**The Major/Jasper P.O.V**

Darkness...

Pain...

Hate...

Anger...

Gone...

_She'll come back._

She's never coming back.

_Trust._

There is no trust when the only thing worth living for is gone.

_Trust._

Leave me alone.

Alone...

The pains crippling, the anguish, the sorrow, the guilt It all fell on my like a heavy waterfall, never ending and always flowing. I couldn't take it anymore but I couldn't move, I wanted it all too just go away and leave me alone. I wanted it all to fade away into nothingness.

It didn't and it never would. I needed her.

Don't think about her, she's gone...she's not gone as long as I hold her here with me though. Her torn flesh would heal soon, it would go pink again. It would always be pink or white once I change her, she will be changed once she wakes up.

She'll wake up.

_Jasper it's time to let go._

Never.

The roar echoed around the silent and empty house.

_Yes Jasper, she can't come back to us unless you let her go. You need to let go. You're driving yourself mad._

Leave, you don't belong in my head anymore!

_We are one Jasper, you're not you without me and I'm not me without you, we're a balance. Now please, just let go of her body..._

No, I need her.

_I know but once you let her go, I can take care of you. I'll make it go away. I promise..._

But what happens to her?

_She just goes away._

But I don't want her to go away.

_Neither do I but she has to. She's not there anymore Jasper; the thing you have in your hand is like a sweet rapper. You wish and hope that when you look at the rapper it will be filled with the sweetie goodness but it won't be, the sweets gone and now it's just a rapper left behind._

No. She's going to wake up soon.

_No, she won't. She's dead Jasper and you're just holding a rotting corpse._

Don't you talk about her like that! She not an empty rapper or a rotting corpse she's Bella! Beautiful, sweet and kind Bella! I know she'll wake up!

_She won't wake up but she will come back to us, please Jasper, I'm begging you and I don't beg, let her go._

Was he right? Would she come back? I didn't know if I was ready to let go...but if I did he promised me darkness, numbness. He promised to make it all go away.

What if she woke up just as I let go...no.

I needed to let go but could I?

I wanted the waterfall of despair to stop its torment. I wanted to lie in a dark pit in the recess of my mind, I wanted to not think, not want and not know anything anymore.

I didn't want to feel.

_You don't have to._

Unsure of what I was doing was right; I hugged her close one last time and let the darkness consume my mind fully. I let him take over and I slowly curled in on myself and let Jasper shut off.


	15. Chapter 15

**I know I've not kept my word and I haven't updated in ages…forgive me please?**

**This is going to be quite gruesome and violent with some strong language. I haven't gone into a lot of detail as I still want to make it seem quite rushed, blurred and like there's maybe some time gaps as its not jasper anymore it's the major. I probably haven't succeeded in doing that but ive tried and got you a chapter out, this is the first step of jaspers journey through the grief.**

**Don't own, just play. Not for kiddies.**

**Anyway here you go…**

Major P.O.V

Running.

Chasing.

Killing.

Blood.

Faces.

Emotions.

Stalking.

Searching.

Finding little Vicky and her four little buddies was a lot easier than I thought it would be, her tracks were covered sloppily and her moves were slow.

She knew I'd been watching her and stalking them for a while, the males apart from one were oblivious to what was happening. The one male that knew something was going didn't know what exactly was happening just that they were been followed.

Vicky knew. Oh did she know, she shorted there time in towns and was skittish, the males seemed to notice her odd behaviour but been driven by blood and lust it was the last thing on there mind.

She'd stopped in a place that was high in cattle and covered in light too bright for anyone to notice when one went out.

Las Vegas.

The smell of peoples sizzling dreams and hopes and aspirations being fried on the roulette wheel was potent, The curdled sin of used dirty money echoed up my nostrils, sex seemed to drift on every breeze and Gasoline, Hairspray, Neon and Plastic was everywhere.

The night's sky didn't even feel like a night, it was one big show, nothing was quiet or dark. It was all lit up, it felt like being a bug under one big magnifying glass and yet been herded with thousands of sheep into a tiny claustrophobic box.

She was smart in coming here, up until now I had wondered how she had managed to survive this long, especially with others and now I knew why.

It was full of people no one would miss, it was full of people period and that meant it would take longer for me to sniff her out. Clever, but not clever enough.

She had already realized she wasn't going to win the game, she was just biding time.

She was going to ditch the males and run, she was going to make her move and was just waiting for the write time to make it but she was playing a game with someone who had made the rules.

After observing her for some time now I knew the kind of place she would be hiding out, some place old and run down. She would make sure it was far enough from anywhere busy for the newborns to still be able to control the bloodlust before letting them feed but would be close enough so that they wouldn't have to run over thirty minutes to get there.

There were tons of places like this in Vegas and I wasn't going to spend my time searching every abandoned building, I would wait. At some point she wouldn't be able to control all four newborns on her own and all hell would break loose. It was a waiting game for both of us.

I listened to the news and searched papers for death and missing people but nothing.

There was still nothing for two days, but then it all exploded.

Fires.

Deaths.

Rapes.

Little Vicky had lost control over her newborns.

It all happened in the span of an hour and it was all over the news. You couldn't go five minutes of been out the house without hearing about it.

Ignoring the police, ambulances and helicopters all over the place, I took off into the direction where they'd reported it had all had blown up.

Chaos ensued, smoke, flashing lights and yellow tape surrounded the area and they were no where to be found. But they couldn't have gotten far, this game of cat and mouse had gone on far too long.

Jumping up onto one of the nearest building fire escapes, I headed to the roof searching all the routes they could take away from the crime scene bellow. The faint breeze drifted past and carried with it the scents I needed, longed to find and bring pain to.

My legs moved on there own accord, jumping over building tops and darting down alley ways, the scent carried on until I reached an abandoned where house.

The crashing and thundering noises stopped as I approached the warehouse door, I made no attempt to hide that I was there and approaching them, in fact I made sure they knew it.

Pulling back the where house door I let it slam shut behind me as I stepped into the dark and empty space, dust and cobwebs clung to walls, the floor was littered with broken glass and in the corners were old stained mattresses with needles spotted around them.

The stench was revolting, dust and sewage lingered in the air and I'm pretty sure I could smell a rotting corpse in this place somewhere.

The males where stood in the middle of warehouse, all filled with anger and glaring at one another before turning there dark eyes to me. I could feel them getting angrier and the anticipation building, they knew I was here to end them.

Recognition entered one of the male newborns systems and I realized it to be the one that knew something was wrong. He must have picked up my scent along the journey somewhere.

Looking up, I found her lying on an old wooden beam that was a support for the roof; she looked like a cat would lounge in a tree. This kitty had played her last game and there would be no tree to hide in this time.

"Hello Vicky." My voice sounded rough and dark. It entered the empty space and filled it with a deadly promise.

She glanced at me and as if only just realizing I had come in her face took on the expression of a shocked scared little girl, she wouldn't get out of this with bad acting.

Her emotions slammed into me, fear, dread, anticipation and a little bit of hope swirled around her.

"Jasper is it? What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice all kinds of candy sweet.

The males looked up at her questioningly; I presume they were wondering how she knew me given by all the jealousy they were now sending my way. Her little act of kind innocence was about to end.

The roar that ripped threw my chest was raw with pure emotion, it was loud and it echoed off the walls. It was one of heartbreak, loss, grief, revenge, anger, hate and pain. So much pain.

They all shrunk back from the loud startling noise, there fear skyrocketing with pinches of dread. I probably looked feral, my back haunched and mouth agape with my teeth on show.

Venom oozed from both sides of my mouth and slowly dribbled down my chin, my eyes must have been a deadly, I had wanted this process to be long and I would prolong it but right now, thinking about how these cunts had had there dicks in my mate made me loose it and I couldn't hold back anymore.

I couldn't hold back the rage that made me claw and bite into every inch of there flesh, or tear limbs off them until there was nothing but a limbless body and head. I couldn't hold back tearing Vicky's legs off and making her watch me torture her companions, or making her choke on there vile appendages they'd used to rape B- her.

I couldn't hold back and even though Jasper was in the very recesses of my mind, I could feel him taking glee mixed with disgust at the scenes he had to watch through our shared body. I was doing it for us, I was doing it for her and she would get justice.

It would be sweet on our tongue, it would taste like a jawbreaker, too much at first but then once you got to the core you'd know exactly why you had been doing it in the first place. It was for this, this demanding relief of justice. Their venom was all over me and I wanted to bathe in it like blood, I wanted to make them suffer slowly and painfully like she had.

When the darkness pulled back a little, limbs were scattered everywhere, chunks of flesh and hair littered the walls and floor. The limbless bodies off the males were all lined up against a back wall of the warehouse and Vicky's legless body not to far from there.

Her mouth and throat was full of a couple of the males pricks I'd pushed in, stopping her pathetic pleas for forgiveness, I would not be so kind to her or her little friends.

Smirking at them, I watched as there eyes widened noticing how my attention was back on them. They terror was like a warm sea washing over me, they knew death would come but knew it would not be quick for them. My smile widened as I stepped forward to what would only be the start of my fun with them.

**So there you go, let me know what you think. Will be doing review replies tonight and will be carrying on with the next chapter tomorrow so might have it out by Monday. No promises. Thanks to everyone still with me and everyone for reading.**

**Jess.**


	16. Chapter 16

Unbeta'd and only read threw so mistakes may be hiding in their somewhere.

Don't own it.

Major P.O.V

Throwing the last of Vicky's mangled limbs onto the burning pyre, I thought about the torture and the pain I'd inflicted on her and her fellow minions. How I'd danced to the sound of their screams and revelled in the oozing venom from every opening I made. How I'd made them pay, oh how I'd made them pay. It would never be enough and it was all too much at the same time. I felt so much injustice while feeling satisfied with what I'd done.

Greif does funny things to a person and it had apparently turned the major into a confused lost mess who didn't know what to feel. I was suppose to ease the loss Jasper and I felt, take the burden of Bella's death on by myself but its affects had spread threw every crevice of my mind and body like a deadly cancer. It made me weak and vulnerable.

I hated it.

Watching the glowing embers and purple smoke float away into the distant lights of Vegas, I wondered how long I had been here. Had it been days? Months?

My mind was foggy and solely focused on the pain and demise of her killers but now that was done what would I and Jasper do? What was the next step for us? Should I throw myself into the burning flames and meet her in the world of souls, if there was such a thing.

What was I to become if I carried on? A shell of my former self no doubt, I the major would become weak and Jasper…well Jasper would only want one thing.

Death.

I don't know weather I would be kind enough to give him what he wanted…after all hadn't I had so much faith in the fact Bella would not be gone forever. Hope was a dangerous thing in my position and I'm afraid mines just ran out.

Peter P.O.V

Storms nothing but storms since my dear brother left, lighting and thunder cracked and racked the Forks ground constantly. It was a complete and utter fucking nightmare, it was never ending and no one knew the cause of it. We were all in bewilderment and as if we didn't have enough to fucking deal with lets add god taking one hell of a fucking piss on all of us.

When we'd gotten back and found jasper gone four months ago, we were all in panic mode as the first thing a vampire does when their mate has died is go off the deep end and then top themselves. So in a wild hunt to track him down we'd let everyone we knew all over the world that we was looking for him but who was we kidding if the major didn't want to be found he wouldn't be and if he wanted to be dead he would be. We traced his sent for all of about two minutes before the torrential storm washed it away and the only trace left of him was gone.

My head had abandoned me again since its moment of clarity in the forest with Char so I knew what was going on as much as a virgin knew where the penis ended and the balls began. It killed me.

I wanted it to at least give me an inkling as to weather Jasper was alive and safe, it didn't and I was mad but more so I was hurt. I wanted him to come back and let me help him, I felt abandoned and hurt and confused but Jasper would know what to do. I was a comrade without a leader. I felt like a wounded puppy that had been left on the side of the road but I knew I had no right to feel this way. That whatever Jasper was going threw I needed to let him deal with it in his own way but I couldn't help it, I was mad that he hadn't left me a sign to let me know he was ok or at least living. I was mad he hadn't got in touch.

The family had basically fallen apart.

Since Forks had already 'buried' Bella without her body, we had a small ceremony for her and actually buried her in the forest by the lake, Esme said that it was hers and Jaspers favourite place to go when they needed to think, which then sent her into a fit of sobs.

Rose and Emmett had gone away travelling, they said they needed space away from the house, the family and Forks in general but Emmett had sworn to me before leaving that he would search for Jasper wherever he went.

Esme and Carlisle barley spoke to anyone and would constantly be busying themselves. Carlisle would always be at work or researching things about mates, hoping there was some technicality he missed about a vampire getting over their mates death or that we only get one. He'd found nothing yet but we all held out hope that one day he would burst from that office and tell us something good.

Esme had had the house cleaned and decided the plan was to abandon it, deciding to start from scratch on a different part of the land; it was to be big and modern but homely. She said she needed new since so much had happened there; we were temporally still living in the old house while the new one had its finishing touches done.

Alice was in Italy, she was doing some of the shipping of the furniture for the new house but said she wouldn't be coming back until the family decided to move somewhere else as she needed space to get over the loss of Bella and her failed marriage/possibly dead ex husband I mean me and Alice weren't exactly chummy but I felt bad for the little pixie.

Char was constantly cleaning and keeping up appearances for Esme's sake, she would make trips throughout the week collecting food that if we were human would need and then after driving up to Seattle she would donate all the food to the homeless. She took care of Esme's and Carlisle's charity functions with the excuses that that were still grieving which in truth they were.

I didn't know what to do anymore, I tried Jaspers cell none stop most days, or would ring our contacts and ask if they'd heard anything but they wouldn't have, my time was consumed with finding Jasper and what he would be doing.

My cell phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts; I sat in Jaspers study in the far corner behind one of many bookshelves, a journal laid open on my spread out legs. Without looking at caller ID I picked up my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me" Char breathed down the phone.

"What's up?" I asked, she'd meant to be in Seattle hunting and paying Esme's contractor since it had cost a lot more for him and his men to work in the storms and get the house done, it was practically unheard of but when Esme offered him a couple grand extra he agreed.

"Nothing baby, I just…." She drifted off as if cautious to say what she was thinking.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"I miss us…I'm so emotionally exhausted. When will it get better, when can we go back to how we were, when will he come home?!" she all but hysterically shouted down the phone.

"I don't know baby, I miss it all too. Maybe…urgh I don't know. Maybe we should just move on and let him find us when he wants, maybe we forget about it till were confronted with it again…maybe we go back to Texas and go back to being happy." I said running a frustrated hand threw my hair.

"We both know that's not going to happen, it's not in a vampires nature to forget and it certainly isn't in the Whitlock nature to move on from family as easy as that. I'm just stressed hunny, forget I mentioned it. I'll be home soon anyway, so I'll see you then?" She asked the noise of traffic from her end entering my ear.

"Yeah baby, I'll see you soon"

The call disconnected and I was immediately out of the house and running, I needed to get out of there and think. Think about how I was going to save everyone from letting this ruin them but this normally wasn't my job, it was his.

I needed a plan, a plan to get us all back on track but fuck if I knew what to do. So I just ran and ran and ran…until suddenly I wasn't running anymore.

My feet stopped and felt heavy as if been potted in cement, I stood stock still as I smelt that oh so familiar smell. My mind and body as if paralysed just stopped and stayed, shock and fear made my muscles ache and my mouth clench. Had I gone mad, was I imagining it?

But before I could tell if this was a figment of my imagination, my mind went black and my body fell slack to the floor.


End file.
